Connoisseur Of You

Slow sensual twirls of the tongue, or Fast, furious & fucking sloppy.....
Which way do I want to eat that?

Aggressive moves to get her wet, pull her by the inside of her waist
of whatever she has on. Drop to my knees, unbutton or pull at clothing like I have never got it before. Before you come out them panties, I cant wait so I pull them to the side & prop one of your legs up on my shoulders. Inner thigh kisses and slow kisses from thirsty lips have you ready to grab my head & shove my face up in it.

You try to guide me by the hair but hold up I'm not done teasing you. Good shit isn't rushed and the anticipation is half the nut. Not so quick to shove my tongue in it. Ill just slurp on the top of your clit. So much going on I can't seperate My spit from your fluids. So Ill continue but grab you by the back of the neck, turn you around and make you put that ass in the air at the edge of the bed.

As I eat slower, harder, faster, more gently you throw it back & let me know the spots you want my tongue to hit. You turn slightly on one side just to free a hand to grab my head as you shake & erupt in my face...you go numb.

Lets hit the shower and get that bitch dirty.
Dont be a half assed lover. You gotta eat that pussy.
But here's the thing, If you wouldnt kiss her, dont eat that pussy.

Just Move On

How to get over someone? The only conclusion I could find.

People always tell you to move on. Like it's the easiest shit in the world. But it's not!

I always wonder how I do the stuff I do. In retrospect like how did I change my grandpa's diapers? The thought is just yuck to me! But I did it daily. You do what needs to be done when it's time. If you don't have the strength it's given to you but you have to want it real bad.
So how do you get over someone you once loved? You un-love em thats all! Lol! No really! You start dwelling on the hurt, eventually you realize that only makes you hurt more. Then you vent & eventually you realize that only makes you vent more! Then something happens. You get a hobby or an interest. You discover something & it changes your days. Most people have a routine & if love was a part of that routine something is now missing. So to fill the void you do something. The first thing is probably a bust. But the next thing is that thing!!

The worst thing anyone can ever do is dwell on what they don't enjoy/love! If something hurts think about something that doesn't hurt. My favorite analogy for all things heart break involved is "Remember your first love & how bad it hurt when they left? You got over it didn't you? & you keep getting over things. It's not the end of the world"
But then what if it's not that serious!? What if the person you have sex with has someone new?

You didn't love them! That's first! Second, you don't really "need" them per say. So, you devote the time you used to spend with them to a hobby. Read books, get drinks with friends, write a blog! Call an old friend! Whatever you do don't dwell on getting dumped. & eventually it gets easier then before you know it... New fuck buddy!!!!

Another Jake: A big dick without a brain

I haven't really had the desire to blog about my sex life. But after stumbling upon this new site Single Girl in the Suburbs I thought hmmm writing about fun stuff is fun. Don't get excited it's not that awesome.
As with most men I like he's gorgeous! His physical features make my mouth water in a frightening way. I think my dream man looks like him & I never knew it. So, I watched him for a month in my typical stalker fashion. Then when the moment came I said hi. Nothing major! Random text convo for a few months, fucked on the first date. Typical me shit!

But it's not my fault! He's generic. He's gorgeous. He's a whore. He likes what every other black 20 something man likes, he dresses like everyone else, his interest are basic, his upbringing was just like everyone elses. I tried I PROMISE I tried, I talked to him about my interest, hobbies and some random pop culture references. He didn't know SHIT!!! When a guy says "Damn you smart like you know everything", he automatically moves from romantic interest to "oh yeah he fucks good".  He wants to be popular because that's what everyone else does. While his appearance is refreshing everything is a yawn. He's so unoriginal I didn't even bother giving him his own nickname. Just another Jake... But no lie the dick is great.

Nasty Girl

What's your freak number??

I used to think I was fun. Like not a total freak but at least fun... Recently a man who shall remain nickname less asked me some shit I thought was just too far off the wall. Am I a prude?? Should I have to wonder if I'm a prude. When did fantasies become so raunchy?? I mean missionary is not the best position ever BUT I'm not licking asshole. When did sex become how many holes you could lick or stick???

I'm trying to understand I just CAN NOT!!! I guess people are numb to normalcy and I'm not. If we rate freaky in ice cream call me Vanilla with sprinkles and I'll live with that. AND love it!!

Think about it. F-ck yourself. Stop. Get over it.

"Sometimes you think you like people but you don't, you gotta beat your meat and say their name over and over and after you nut you probably won't like them any more"

I know what you're thinking, that's the dumbest thing you ever heard. Well 1. I didn't say 2. I had to think about it for 24 hours before it fully made sense. You feel differently about a person after you cum. Sometimes you want them in our life more, most times you want them less.

The girl "erection"

You wonder how this started? Ok having a random convetsation with Mya and I say "You ever notice you kegel when you see a fine man?" And she says "Girl yes". So I start asking all my friends and they said YES!!! The girl erection is the most random and spontateous reaction possible. BUT it happens and it happens often LOL!!!!

The girl erection (trev-intion) -- the kegel (in case u don't know what it is) by definition • A contraction of the pubococcygeal muscles, performed for the purpose of strengthening them. In lay mens terms think of your fist closing but only it's the vagina.

A collection of stupid shit put together

You ever do something that reminds you of something else?
His name was monster face.. The only one night stand I ever had in  my life.. It was beyond fun. I swear I never had so many bruises in my life. It was like trophies. Gretchen judges great sex based on the amount of pain and bruises you recieve. So on the Gretch scale I was at a 9 1/2. A full blown 10 is when your ass is bright red.
Anyway I got reminded of this one night stand because NO matter how horny I get there are some guys who I just can't see myself touching. I wouldn't even let them give me head. I think I was really horny. SO I went to sleep. It's sad when I'm REALLY horny but I'd rather sleep than fuck the options I have.
Moving along, that's kind of how the Monster Face thing happened. I was annoyed with everybody and I was like well he's been trying for 3 years why not. But that boy was crazy he thought I wanted to be his girlfriend... Who am I? As if! It was just fun and funny.

Every girl I know has had a monster face type experience, sorry for bringing back the memory LOL!!

Good Pussy

"I think all girls with good pussy are friends, you don't think that" - Dumb Gretchen Sr.

According to all my male friends most pussy is good... Bad pussy is hairy, dry, funky, and/or WIDE OPEN! Which means more than half of women probably have a groomed, wet, fragant, and/or tight pussy.

(She told me I had to blog about this)

I think and have always thought it takes SO much to make a dick great but not much to make a pussy good. Extraordinary pussy does tricks and shit! A man has to be long, thick and have a great stroke.. A woman has to do keggles and make sure it's wet... It's really not far, we can control our good factor for men, he's either born with it or he's not... poor thang.

Which makes me think of anything, all pussy is the same you better step your personality game up!! Bitches ain't got shit to offer but they want ballers...

"Pennies looking for silver dollars, yeah you are"

This has been the post as requested. The end!

Selective Slutting

I don't consider myself a "good girl". And I only know 2 honest to God good girls. Other than that.. I know sluts. Slutting isn't horrific it's just not being a virgin. Most women have cheated, lied, flirted or slept with someone they will NEVER tell anyone they ever looked at. It's a fact!

Selective slutting is choosing who you slut with for example, some women only slut with athletes (if I do I like tackles NO skinny men), some women slut with greeks (this one time...), some women slut with guys who are dangerous (I can't think of anything), some women just slut with who ever. The shade/judgement that comes from "slutting" is male based. Men pretend they want virgins and shun women for being sexual so in turn women shun women. Men form the basis of all communication YET women refuse to re-write the books... I AM FEMINIST hear me roar! I write my own rules and make my own books... READ ABOUT ME! What's the difference between a hoe who pretends to be a virgin and a hoe who tells you she's fuckin?? One isn't hiding, the other is a LIAR!

In my line of slutting the selection process is 90% mental. With the exception of B.B.U which is also why you should never give a dumbass a chance. I enjoy puzzles.. The inner workings of a man BUT only if he's attractive. Being selective isn't always about physical appearance, but most times it is. Most women assume other women are sluts because she sleeps with someone you'd never sleep with.. or something of that nature. When truth is everyone I know has around the same number... Ya'll really need to cut that judge shit out.. cause they jury says we're all the same... Some are just more selective than others!

So yeah just cause you only fuck lames with no money and we out chea GOAL digging.. Don't be mad at us be mad at your focus boo!

Stacey Dash'n

Everyone who knows me or anything about me knows, I have a super dyke crush on Stacey Dash. I'd do more dirty things to her than I would to all my men crushes. She's simply the SHIT!

In a recent radio interview Stacey said she fucks on the first date then they ask her to marry them.

I love u Stacey. F-cking on the first date is logical to me only because what if you fall deeply in love only to find out his penis is the size of your pinky finger. I can't stay. I won't stay. On the flip side he could think you're a nasty dirty whore. blah blah lose all respect yada yada... What if I don't want his respect LOL! To each is own but 85% of the time I'm Stacey Dash'n it.. this is all

A.D.I.D.A.S (All Day I Dream About Sex)

I talk about glitter and the sex quite often. I don't think I've made the terms clear.

The Sex (Trev-intion) - Something that catches the eye and invokes strong emotion. Most times the sex is an object a shoe, a handbag, or something that can be purchased. The sex when used to describe people is an at the moment term. I only look like the sex when I try. I'm not glitter.

Glitter (Trev-inition) - Simply put Stacey Dash. The glitter is someone you hold to a higher standard. Glitter is your own personal Stacey Dash. Everyone is glitter to someone. It's the guy you had a crush on in 10th grade who never gave you the time of day or The President. Glitter is life long.

I recently embarked on a new mission and by mission I mean... yeah. He's the sex & his penis is glitter.. that's all I'm saying about it!!

The Greatest Sex (Female Prospective)

This is graphic, you've been warned.

The greatest sex isn't planned. You don't know when it's going to happen, it hasn't been discussed, it simply occurs.
Great sex involves tension, a strong desire for one another before any physical contact.
The greatest sex happens when both parties are clear on the others likes and dislikes.Women love a man who takes control. Take the pussy, most of us are very dominate in life but extremely submissive in sex. Great sex involves no fear.
It starts with harmless flirting, leads to touching, kissing, eventually there's the foreplay & for me that doesn't involve oral. I'll give but I'm really not into recieving (See how nice I am). The pre sex orgasm is preferred (hand work).
The foreplay eventually leads to pentration (the best part). Great sex is passionate and violent. Most of the women I know like to be fucked (self included). Hard, deep strokes that force both people to grasp for air. Talking shit makes sex great.(DO NOT ask us to call you daddy, you will ruin the moment. I'll say anything but you are NOT my father.)
I'm competitive and silence gets you NO WHERE. Doggy style is essential, a must. Followed by some reverse cowgirl action.

Great sex also involves different locations the bed is fine to start with but you have to use the wall, the floor, the counters in the bathroom. Choking is for people you love but the more violent the better. If the sex is over and her vagina isn't swollen, you sir can't fuck. Bruises are welcomed. Biting, grabbing, even licking at times are all essential to great sex.

Want NOT need

Men make me happy. Male attention, conversation, cuddles. I know that I don't need it but I want it. I'm greedy. I want a man but on my own terms. I enjoy being sexual, not so much the act of sex but longing for sex the pre-foreplay, the desire to touch and be touched. I love sensual men, men who don't rush. I hate winter... it makes the desire to be with someone stronger. It's too cold to play outside there's nothing better to do. I don't want marriage potential just someone I get along with who happens to be attractive... It's clearly a want.

I'm glad I realize that it's something I want. So many women feel that they NEED a man when really they need Jesus or reality. Men don't complete women nor does it happen vice versa. This should be understood. The desire to have a boo is still deep though. The vibrator can only do so much.. LOL!

I'm patient I can wait... if only... oh well the past is the past no more going in reverse (I'll eventually crash)

F-ckin without Feeling

I once had a guy tell me that "F-ckin without feeling,wasn't really f-ckin at all"

He wasn't some sweet guy who only slept with women he was emotionally attached to. He was a whore. He made women fall in love with him before they had sex because he said it made the feeling more intense. He was always in a "sexual relationship" with a woman who loved him because he couldn't stand lustful sex.

This is why I'm f-cked up. We grew up together he's like my best friend. I've known him since I was 12. He told me his secrets his desires, hopes, & dreams. We mind f-cked each other on the regular but no sex. Dude is such a great mind f-ck. He studies women. He knows women he can get anyone.

The thing that ruins my idea of men is that they only wanna love me to make the sex more intense. So I ruin the plan. I f-ck. I don't talk about my dreams or desires. I don't let him know who I am, what my family life is like. Dudes barely know what turns me on beyond a fresh fade & nice teeth. Most guys who slept with me don't even know who my real friends are, they've just seen pictures on facebook. People assume that I'm an "open book" because I talk about fucking & strongly disliking certain people but you really don't know anything about me...

I am afraid of love. I am afraid to love something other than "dat dick". I'm detached emotionally, with most things & people I just go through the motions the way I think everyone else does. I don't ask the questions I really wonder about. Most times I won't say exactly what's on my mind. I get away with it because men don't care. I rarely meet guys that want to get below the surface so I stay there.
Two years ago I met a guy, he's not my type at all. He needed a ride somewhere & offered to buy me alcohol. That's all I needed. He wasn't trying to f-ck. He wanted to know me. He caught me off guard. I was so afraid. Needless to say he knows things about me that my "friends" don't know. I never had sex with him because he already stole a piece of my soul but he's a special breed of man. He's an adult. He doesn't care about physical shit. He likes substance. You really can't tell by looking at him, I guess that makes it even more special.
It's sad really... I f-ck without feeling to make myself feel... something.

Why are you a Hoe again??

There's this guy.. first off I've never had the desire to f-ck him. He's just not my kind. He's very attractive & one of the biggest hoes in the world. Yet every woman I know who rode the ride says it was a happy meal without the toy. You know all the pipe in the world but couldn't lay it for shit.. This is 3 different women who have never met, how can they all tell the same story?? Because it's the TRUTH!
What was the number one complaint?? Dude makes love!
I wish I was bullshitting "Slow circular strokes"
All this sex was random, not in a relationship, barely even in a friendship. Women don't like to make love with their one night stand.. they wanna f-ck, HARD!

One Night Stand Rules:

1. Don't pretend like this is going anywhere.
2. F-ck like she stole from you.
3. Make her feel nasty (She's not your wife)
4. Ask her what she wants, cause you don't know her
5. Make sure you performance is excellent.. Your girlfriend won't tell her friends about the dick game but your one night stand doesn't care about you. She will talk & it might hurt your feelings.
6. Don't kiss her (trust is earned not given)
7. & if it's with me pull the weave & bite my neck

I got off subject.. Seriously why is dude a hoe if his sex game is weak? And if I know how doesn't anyone else know??

GET AHEAD HEAUX

Its 2009 approaching 2010 Why in the fukk are there people out there that claim they dont give head or eat pussy....lets be real. This denial use to be coo b4 you were havin sex and you knew what the fukk was up with it...
Its a proven fact that some of the jazziest females in the world suck dick...Some of the finest women i have been with are avid Penis in the mouth connoisseurs. With that said, If you are an average or sub par heaux...It is of the utmost importance that you become one with the Art of Fellatio. When bad bitches givin head, you have some catch up to do because u already behind

It doesnt mean you a freak cause you give head...damn you might be considered one cause you dont. Giving head shows commitment. It shows Hey "she's here for me and my nut. she really cares about the issue at hand..

You dont have any problems with a guy eating you right? so lets reverse this...Penis is a lot more sanitary than a vagina...Shit grows down there in that moist warm environment. Its a fuckin walkin Petri Dish between your legs...yet man will go there if u take care of it for your own good as well as his..With that said stop being so selfish.

I personally wash my dick good and ask myself...If i was a heaux would i suck this...This keeps me in check with my freshness and assures you a good factory seal and fresh goods upon delivery...

I didnt say suck the world so please dont get this confused...but if you fuckin a nigga who dick you wouldnt suck...maybe you need to get ya fuck buddy standards up..

Save the world, Show you care by suckin a dick tonight ladies....I am Brutal Hon3sty and Im Owt!

Stop Boyfriend #2 epidemic, Put her Orgasm B4 your own.

Too many niggaz lose someone they really like or chase her away with horrible meat...It leaves a trail...in fact it leaves a report called the B.D.R. Bad Dick Report. This problem comes from niggaz wanting to rush shit and get them. It also could be as simple as not knowing what kind of woman you are dealing with. Sure there are a few women who wanna get straight to fukkin, wham bam keep it movin sir, but for the most part all women want more out of sex.

Sex is more than putting ya dick in and premature ejaculation... If you are finally going there with someone you've been craving why half step? Her body will tell you everything you need to know about satisfying her without her saying a word. So you have to read body language...For instance..If you're kissing her in the inner thigh and she starts to quiver while moving up to her vagina....Dont stop and immediately whip out ya dick...keep going shes already started the process of getting her. Too many niggaz underestimate the power of touch, of hardcore lust, the possibility of what can happen when i kiss here, or kiss her here. Gentle yet forceful nibbles all over are whatsup.

Rub her back, grab her breasts, grab the back of her neck and pull it hard towards you as you kiss all over her body. Be flamboyant with the dick, Dicks are everywhere....besides size what are you going to do to seperate yourself from that dick that was there b4 you and the ones that can replace you...If you keep that mindset you wont shortstroke her.

I belive a 100% that if she gets her then i've got me. Bombs go off in my body as i see her spine arch because im in the right spot...or she abuses the hair pulling because its the only thing she can think to grab while i slurp on her. I wanna fuck her deeper as i bend her over and slide in her from behind and she sucks my fingers cause she just has to do something with her mouth..
You dont have to be in love with someone to give them pleasure that they wish will stay forever. You just have to be unselfish and willing to put in work. You can have all the money in the world and spoil her to death...Fuck Dick game...If yo Sex Aura aint comin right she gonna step out. Be the total package...nothing worse than leaving the drive through and discovering that they didn't give you everything you paid for.

I got a Partna!!

I love blogging, I adore the male opinion it's been missing...
I invited a friend to blog with moi, & he accepted..
Ladies.. you've been warned & Gentlemen... dude is wild!
Welcome the Brutal Hon3sty!

I predict alotta sex stories...

The Slut Rules

*I don't lie about who I am or should I say was.. I'm pretty dull these days.. I'm done explaining myself to you*

The Bad Girls self included have these rules.. No one ever wrote them down. No one really follows them (all the time). They include but are not limited to:

• Always look gorgeous
• Always tell one person where you're going or whose coming over
• Never name the puppy (nicknames are good)
• Don't ask questions don't get personal
• Get in, get out, get on with your life
• Don't kiss it's fucking disgusting
• If he tries to make the situation seem like more than it is cut him off or run
• Never give yourself a reason to like him
• Do NOT become his facebook friend
• If you ever see him in public again act like he doesn't exist
• Call him only when there's a real need (for dick)
• Don't tell him anything about you
• Don't cuddle
• When you finish put your clothes on and go or kick him out
• If he's nervous take off something else
• If he's good forward your friends his dick pix
• Never get caught
• Don't talk about anything with anyone outside the circle ever

I'm old now. I can't really follow these rules. I think some of the Bad Girls do... These rules were the basis of my relationships with O.J. & Hov. Hov is just so fucking nice. He wanted me to like him. He couldn't handle having a fuck buddy... bitch...
The honest reason for the slut rules was simple. Carrie on Sex & the City in the first episode decides to f-ck like a man, to truly have sex with no emotion. A term I later coined as "bitch fucking" (recieving oral without returning the favor & leaving right after because of an emergency) We'd all been hurt in high school. In college we decided not to take men seriously. To have fun & treat our girls as our world. We all hoped that by developing this crazy system of using guys that some how we could be like Samantha Jones... but she fell for Smith Jared.
It didn't work. We all fell for someone. We all cried to each other about someone we loved. We all went months without getting laid.. just because we follow slut rules.. does NOT mean we slut with everybody. That's what hoes do! Women choose the men they sleep with hoes fuck everybody.. see where I'm going.. gooood.

Orginal Jake

Disclaimer: This is detailed. I can't hold back. It may sound like porn so If you don't wanna read the rest don't click read more.

It all started randomly.. on facebook... of all places. This was 4 years ago, meeting someone on facebook seemed harmless. It was harmless [or so I thought]