The Recap

I haven't been blogging like I used to... I've been busy doing nothing... It's quite sad... Twitter has replaced my beloved blog. NO longer... less tweets more blogs.. Moving along!

It's moments like this, times like this when you look at life and say who are you? I won't tell you I'm unhappy. Happiness is a personal creation. It's the car you were given the keys to at birth and you decide whether you drive or live in park...

The problem before was that I was complacent, I saw the problem and that "Nah maybe next year"... Now the problem is my growing need for instant gratification.. I want it NOW. All of it everything. I'm writing down my pulse so I can remember that my heart beats.

I have alot to write about... Sanity slapped me this morning it was kinda cool... She said "what are you doing get up."

Maybe it wasn't exactly like that but you know... I'm moving again... wheels turning... forward motion

A list stereotypically defined as being ran-dumb:

1. That picture that's how I feel today, like the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill is the only song in existance...
2. I realized the people who know me at this moment have NO idea who I was...
3. I have a "hit list" of guys I want to sleep with before I die no famous people
4. Anyway I started a flirty convo with one of them and... well
5. I've never been so disappointed in MY LIFE!!!!
6. We didn't have sex I saw it and I cried
7. It's just easier for me to write a list
8. We're talking about sex...
9. I think if you're not in the mood but you really like him you should spit all over his dick and just suck it for a minute or two.
10. I don't like giving sex advice because I'm kind of a prude. BUT a slutty prude.. I act slutty but yeah whatever!

Stacey Dash'n

Everyone who knows me or anything about me knows, I have a super dyke crush on Stacey Dash. I'd do more dirty things to her than I would to all my men crushes. She's simply the SHIT!

In a recent radio interview Stacey said she fucks on the first date then they ask her to marry them.

I love u Stacey. F-cking on the first date is logical to me only because what if you fall deeply in love only to find out his penis is the size of your pinky finger. I can't stay. I won't stay. On the flip side he could think you're a nasty dirty whore. blah blah lose all respect yada yada... What if I don't want his respect LOL! To each is own but 85% of the time I'm Stacey Dash'n it.. this is all

Unfriendly Black Hotties vs. Ghetto Girls

DISCLAIMER: Like all things written on this blog it's my OPINION.. if you don't like it.. click the X boo it's free!

There are several different black girls that fall in between the two.. This has just been my week.. or not!
Un-friendly Black Hotties- Attractive (keyword being attractive) African American women who have no desire to fit in with the stereotypical norms placed on them by society. E.G. The Simmons. Not all un-friendly black hotties are rich, most are just extremely intelligent and know better therefore do better. They don't aspire to be friendly with common folks hence the term unfriendly. As Toni would say "They keep their social lives social & their personal lives personal". Unfriendly black hotties NEVER befriend basic bitchs. They smell basic and run. They don't gossip but are often gossip'd about. No visible tattoos, brightly colored hair, gold teeth, baby father. They refuse to blend in with the hood folks or "keep it real" just to fit in. They stand out in the good way. Often called siddity, stuck up. rude or even a bitch; they're still the girls you want to hang out with.

Ghetto Girls- African American women who grow up believing that life in one location is healthy. They usually think children are fashionable. Shop at Rave, Dots & Rainbow while carrying "Gucci" bags. They missed the memo that "rich" people wear quality clothing at don't dye their hair red, blue, purple, green or orange. OH or pink! They think that fighting is cool. They gossip! They're catty, insecure and BROKE! They think Atlanta is a fashion capital & view being on the Real Housewives of ATL as an achievement. They're loud, gaudy, unpleasing to the eye, annoying and they often wear Love Spell.

So clearly the differences are obvious. Now if I call myself an un-friendly black hottie, you'll say I'm concieted BUT when's the last time someone thought I was ugly?? Fat yes ugly NO! :-)

I'm just keeping it real...

What do you think when you see this picture?? I'll tell you what I think WHY BITCH WHY? I'm not the most logical person in the world. I know that. But this is insane to the point of no return. She can't get a job. No man will ever take her seriously she has ball hair on her breast.

Which brings me to what this picture has to do with you.. the generally educated population.

There's this woman I've never met, but through associates I see 90% of what she says online. She's thirsty beyond thirsty. She begs for male attention every 15 seconds. I respect hoes, I don't respect women who want to be hoes but can't get a man to bite the bait. Looking desperate makes men wonder why other men don't want you. Tone it down is an understatement. On his Bigger & Blacker comedy special Chris Rock said men have to work for pussy and women get offered dick all day everyday. Since the filming of Bigger & Blacker the roles have been completely reversed. Pussy is in surplus every woman in the world just wants to give herself to any man who will pay attention. My daddy hasn't always been the most awesome but I'm not trying to find a man to fill the void so I know my daddy doesn't suck at life. Back to the point, Men love the chase just as much as women. The Bible says "When a MAN finds a WOMAN he's found a good thing", so why are women searching? Why are women getting dick tattoos on their chest? Why are we tweeting about how we need someone every five minutes? Why are we constantly complaining about the lack of good men, when we aren't being patient and waiting for them?

Some things honestly aren't womens fault BUT the thirsty, gold digging, chasing anything that looks like money is WOMENS FAULT. & frankly you hoes make it hard for crazy chicks like me to convince a man that she wants nothing more than dick and conversation... While you playing with that needing security bullshit. Seek God, peace, understanding and self respect then the only thing you'll NEED a man for is dick & conversation. I can't bring everybody to my level. All the things hoes tell me they NEED from a man are things they need from God, their father or themselves.

SUCCESS! The only thing that attracts women is success so what do you think gets a man?? Stop being thirsty and go make yourself great. Beyonce got a man you're dumbass singing resentment... who feels played??

"The Fashion"

The 18 year old ALWAYS tells me about "the fashion", I hate the fashion. Ask that hoe about fashion she can't name a couture designer outside the "rap brands" : LV, Prada D&G. Ask this hoe who Jean Paul Gaultier, Givenchy, Valentino or Thierry Mugler and the hoe draws a blank. I hate nigga fashion. On New Years Eve, I'm driving down Canal St (the main st in New Orleans) & EVERY girl has on black skinny jeans, leggings or liquid leggings, knee high boots, these tacky ass "Nicki bangs", and a black leather jacket... THAT'S NOT FASHION!

In 2005 or 2006 every black girl had plastic red jewelry, with patent red pumps, and a patent red belt with a white tunic and some blue jeans... All black girls dress the same all the time.

A few months ago everyone was wearing spagetti strap tanks with patterned skirts that ballooned at the bottom... Yeah I noticed...

Having a style means being ORIGINAL. If you have on what every1 else has on how does that make you unique. I used think I didn't get hit on in clubs because I wasn't wearing "the fashion" and I really believe it because most men see "the fashion" and know you're the type of girl whose dying to fit in... e.g. you'll do anything for attention.

So please ladies by all means continue to dress like Nicki, Rihanna or who ever else is "hype" at the moment... You're really showing the world you're character.

Make Levees NOT War

I am not better than anyone else when it comes to anger management.

That being said violence is out of control. How can someone kill a baby with a baseball bat [google it]? It disgust me almost as much as the man who raped a baby because the baby wouldn't stop pooing direct quote [http://nola.com]. The world disgust me. Even my mother, some man who lives a few blocks away was beating so severely that he lost an eye [drug related duh!]. Mama tells the story as if she's talking about someone getting a promotion or doing something great. We as a nation have become so numb to violence that we glorify it until it effects us directly. I can no longer stand by and ignore it...

Why can't we be civil and argue/debate/agree to disagree or just stop doing illegal stuff??

Caution Tape

In middle school I did D.A.R.E I'm sure everyone did. Oddly enough the only thing I learned from D.A.R.E was that if there are drugs on a certain street people put tennis shoes on the power lines.

About 3 weeks ago there was a huge drug bust about 10 miles away from my house ever since the day that happened there has been caution tape tied on the power lines.

The communication system between people who sell & buy drugs amazes me. Clearly I'm so far outside that world I don't get it. Hanging caution tape from power lines is a really smart move. I hate to see wasted potential, I think that's the sin they forgot to put in the Bible. How many people could have found the cure for something or saved lives but instead wasted all that potential selling rocks?? I wonder...

Kimber Stories

Kimber & I are way too close. I don't think you should tell anyone as much as we tell each other. Kimber's engaged... That's a joke *I told her that to her face*

Last week she calls and says she wants to "hang out" with a guy who is not her fiance... I told her she couldn't. She feeds me some ol he's just a friend but he's so fine bull shit. I tell her again that she can not go hang out with this guy. She told me she called to vent not to get advice. [lol]

She went. She said she'd call me while she was there so she wouldn't be "tempted". She didn't call. I text her... 10 minutes later she calls me...

His ex girlfriend showed up

One day, one sweet day ladies will learn when I say don't do itm don't do it. Short version, they were playing twister [4 play], the ex starts banging on the door and screaming dude tells her to be quiet and not move until the ex leaves... eventually the ex gets tired of knocking on the door & leaves... I hope K learned her lesson but I doubt it.

She was totally neat...

The other day I was reading blogs as I do quite often and I came across this post on http://absolutebrook.com/ about the hair down there.... this is a pretty big block quote but I needed it all:

"in my club you will find a serious variety of all kinds of bikini lines. some girls in the club DONT shave because they dont like the maintenance of it, or the risk of bumbs or ingrown hairs. then there are the girls who prefer to look like a 5 year old and completely shave everything off, bald..no judgement. and then you have gals like myself who line it up all nice like, with just enough hair to cover my pride..hehe. i cant stand the way a bald pussy looks."



I was so hurt. I've had several candid conversations about grooming the cupcake & I think my way is the best way. Kimber dated a guy who liked afros and he also didn't want her to shave her legs dude had issues. I think all that hair is unhealthy, you don't know what's in that bush. Reading what Brooke wrote really made me think... I'm 4'8, I sound like a chipmunk & I'm totally neat... am I some guys sick child porn fetish?? :-/ I feel strange about it now... should I be covering my pride?

I'm ignoring you

There are signs... There are always signs... Jake is 2 or 3 years younger than me... I never asked how old he was because I don't care. Jake is dumb as hell [but you know I don't like smart men]. About a month ago someone told me Jake did something... bad. I never expected Jake to be good so... I ignored it. A few weeks ago Jake said something that turned me off to the point of no return... I ignored it. Today, Jake said something else horrific and I've decided to be logical and use my brain and the good sense God gave me... no more Jake...
Why do I always have to quit before I start?? I have bad taste.

To crush # 4

This is not to get confused this is for you. Crush # 4 he's the exception I've known him for a year and I haven't bitten him, hinted that I like him, been drunk and tried to feel his peen, or nothing. I'm pretty sure he "friendzoned" me and I'll never get out. I've written about him before. I want to just call him and say:
Look dude fuckin you shouldn't be this difficult!
I've realized that we won't ever date and be boyfriend and girlfriend so can we at least bang curiosity is kicking my ass. How sad would I be if I got it and it was weak?

Growing Pain

I'm growing up. It makes me sick. So sick that I skipped work today. I made myself physically sick. I haven't talked to anyone about anything of importance all week [except Mya]. I'm pretty sure Hov has a girlfriend or is damn close to it... So I'm dropping it. I woke up... I stopped living in a dream cause it's over now. I feel a chapter closing. I realize that love, real love doesn't purposely hurt you real love doesn't have selfish motives because it's love. While the definition of love maybe harder to comprehend than how electricity works I know what it is not. Love is not what I have, love is something I've never had. I've been willing to give my all while receiving nothing, I can only blame myself for this. I had to slap myself and say what the fuck are you crying for because I haven't lost anything. I've gained an idea of what I won't tolerate... On to write the rest of this book

Dick-merized

Dick-merized - [trev-intion] to be in love with a mans sex to the point where you disgust your friends. To still be attached to that dick after the man has done you horribly wrong.

Sidebar: I warned Mya about this post and no one else so feel free to be a lil mad at me but fuck all ya'll because you are.

Toni has been dick-merized since I met her. I'd bet you all the money I own the dick game is wack and the stroke is wack as hell. He looks like he can't fuck and I have dick eyes I know what good is.

Mya is a jackass. "Im dick merized by ****** and i'll take the charge and drive miles to get it... "Frankly he might be able to fuck a little bit but I think you hoes need to get your dick riding game up cause that's how all these dudes "get you"

ME- I have been real talk Hov used to tell me he'd be somewhere at a certain time and I'd wait hours. *Note for future reference I don't go out of my way for Hov anymore.

Gretchen is a fool. She once told me she wanted to buy a man clothes... That's going against the G-code.

I think every woman has been dick-merized before but to be dick-merized after 3 or 4 months is just fucking annoying the thrill of new penis is real but after a while shut the fuck up. And if you haven't ridden the pony in months or even years it's time for you to get a new horse to talk about.

Just STOP

Some women see persistence as a sign of determination, which is true to an extent persistence in getting goals accomplished is determination. Persistence in approaching women is a sign of desperation. Women are simple as hell if we're 1/4 interested men will know. BUT if we ignore every advance you make STOP. We don't want you. You fall into the Mr. Never gonna get the puss category...
Here's the story.. every time I comment on any one's facebook status someone friend request me. Well this same guy has friend requested me like 10 times. I don't know him and he creeps me out. My friend girl said he's a nice kid so this 10th time I add him. He poked me... I don't care if it was a friendly gesture... Lil boy I don't know you. JUST STOP. I'm normally way more rude than this but today I feel like dump. And since you're younger than me let me give you a word of advice women like men who aren't too clingy so back back :-)

The man list

Some chick on twitter thinks I'm gay LOL! I don't dive. Men who can get it.

1. The real Jay-z
2. Pierre Thomas
3. Reggie Bush (only if he's silent the entire time)
4. Michael Crabtree but maybe not
5. Common
6. Brad Pitt
7. George Clooney
8. Triple H (I have a serious wrestler fetish)
9. John Cena (I love him I watch his movies & he can't act for shit)
10. Kwok (I want an asian idk)
11. Paul Walker
12. Travis Barker
13. William Percy Harvin

I'm NEVER bored

The undresser said bored is code for I want some dude to come over and bone me... That's probably true. So I don't say I'm bored. I say I'm not interested in what I'm doing lol. In a brief survey of my friend girls I found the phrases women are most likely to use when they want it.

• What are you doing later?
• I have this *blank* and it's really heavy can you come move it please?
• I'm watching *his favorite show* you should come over.
• I haven't seen you in forever we should hang out
• I'm stressed I need some relief
• I don't have anything to do and all my friends ditched me (that happens to me alot)
• Come here
• What you eating tonight (courtesy of crazy ass Mya)

I'm not a fan of the eating... It's more a control thing than a turn on.

Old Men

Any man who looks as old or older than my father is an old man. I hate old me who have braids and wear urban gear. Braids are just horrible. I hate men with hair. I get hit on by more old men(45 plus) than young men(21 plus). My male friends say I have "bitch swag" and young men really aren't attracted to all this mean-ness. The funny part is I'm really sweet ask Hov I was late for my first day at Victoria's Secret and a very important mid term because he wanted to do it for 2 minutes.... (You're getting your own post asap)
*pause* Why do men say crazy shit like I'm just gonna put the head in or we're just gonna do it for a little while...
Back on track Old men freak me out. I'm afraid of them they make me wanna throw up. The other day I'm going to get gas and this old man says how are you I say fine he says yeah you fine as fuck and stares at my breast for a whole 10 seconds. I felt nasty. Yesterday my 50 yr old uncle calls me lard ass and proceeds to slap it like 15 times. My ass is nice but really... my uncle. Old men are gross. I feel nasty writing this. Ron Isley makes me nauseous with that Mr.Big shit. Men who say cat AAAGGGHHHH my vagina is not an animal wtf? Ok I'm gonna stop now because I really want to throw up.

I'm kinda homo

These are my girl crushes in order:

1. Stacey Dash (duh)
2. Amber Rose (LOVE HER)
3. Lil Kim (like me only different)
4. Kim Kardashian (idk I like exotic hoes)
5. Angelina Jolie ( she looks rough)

I'd only go gay for Stacey and Amber LOL

Sexting

I can't lie well I can but I chose not to... I'm a fan of dick pix if you wanna send I wanna look but I might not return the favor.
I am the queen of copy and paste so this is a convo I just had with the homegirl [Mya]:

Mya: blog about this shit
me: tell me the story
Mya: ok its not a story really lmao
me: tell me now bioch
Mya: so i coined yesterday send a dick pic day... because w/in the span of 2 hrs i received a pic from 2 different guys lmao and i didnt ask for them!
Mya: my pt one of them was thick but it wasnt big- if yo shit not on... dont send it lmao
Mya: send a chick a dick pic hahahahhaha
me: LMAOI'm copy and pasting sorry i gotta
Mya: lmao ok

So fellas keep in mind we talk about the pix and if there pityful we show people but if they look real nice we keep that a secret.
*all names are always changed duh