The Rude List

The opinions expressed in this blog post are the OPINIONS of this blogs owner at any time if you do not agree with these opinions you can close the web browser it's really simple there's an X click it!

The rude list is just a compliation of my opinions on rumors and shit I read on twitter etc. It's not meant to target any certain people only because each thing applies to at least 5-6 people I can think of. BUT of course people think they mean SO much to me that I would honestly devote a blog post to them. And to that I respond BITCH PLEASE!

Unfriendly Black Hotties vs. Ghetto Girls

DISCLAIMER: Like all things written on this blog it's my OPINION.. if you don't like it.. click the X boo it's free!

There are several different black girls that fall in between the two.. This has just been my week.. or not!
Un-friendly Black Hotties- Attractive (keyword being attractive) African American women who have no desire to fit in with the stereotypical norms placed on them by society. E.G. The Simmons. Not all un-friendly black hotties are rich, most are just extremely intelligent and know better therefore do better. They don't aspire to be friendly with common folks hence the term unfriendly. As Toni would say "They keep their social lives social & their personal lives personal". Unfriendly black hotties NEVER befriend basic bitchs. They smell basic and run. They don't gossip but are often gossip'd about. No visible tattoos, brightly colored hair, gold teeth, baby father. They refuse to blend in with the hood folks or "keep it real" just to fit in. They stand out in the good way. Often called siddity, stuck up. rude or even a bitch; they're still the girls you want to hang out with.

Ghetto Girls- African American women who grow up believing that life in one location is healthy. They usually think children are fashionable. Shop at Rave, Dots & Rainbow while carrying "Gucci" bags. They missed the memo that "rich" people wear quality clothing at don't dye their hair red, blue, purple, green or orange. OH or pink! They think that fighting is cool. They gossip! They're catty, insecure and BROKE! They think Atlanta is a fashion capital & view being on the Real Housewives of ATL as an achievement. They're loud, gaudy, unpleasing to the eye, annoying and they often wear Love Spell.

So clearly the differences are obvious. Now if I call myself an un-friendly black hottie, you'll say I'm concieted BUT when's the last time someone thought I was ugly?? Fat yes ugly NO! :-)

Ran-dumb Per Request

In case you don't know ran-dumb is all the crazy shit I think about that isn't long enough to blog:

1. Why do I still care about this ugly crunchy black bastard?
2. Who buys heels from 5-7-9?
3. Party in the USA is the TRUTH!
4. Why ppl always pretend they not f-cking?
5. His body is a wonderland.. I'll use my hands
6. If I said it, it doesn't have to make sense
7. Women who use men for money are prostitutes with different titles
8. I think marriage is like selling yourself into slavery
9. I miss Hov but it'll never be the same.. I'm bitter (towards him)
10. Chinese food (my co-worker said I'm always in heat because I eat too many cats & rats e.g. Chinese food)
11. Monogamy is the hard.. Cheating is easy.. People tend to take the easy way out
12. How can you pretend that the world doesn't know your boyfriend stay cheating on you?
13. Why do I feel I can't write what I wanna write because I don't want him to think I'm a bad person?
14. I care what he thinks (Moment of Weakness, I should examine my head)
15. If we have a 1 night stand she won't get mad.. if I fall for you she might hate me... that's tough
16. If B.H hangs up on me 2 more times I'm driving to the tattoo shop to kill him.
17. It's the shit we can't blog that would blow your mind
18. There's like a .03% chance you can get pregnant from anal
19. Lil Wayne is not a role model neither is Gucci Mane TAKE A BATH
20. I pull my own hair when listening to Floetry.. it's intense
21. How can you be in love with someone when your relationship is based on lust?
22. Why do women brag on what kind of hair they buy? It's still not yours
23. I'm probably gonna meet Percy Harvin.. U forgot my cousins an NFL coach!!
24. Grown women that shop at the Body Shop freak me out
25. Co-Worker said she got her Easter dress from Rainbow
26. Midget porn scares me.
27. If I was like 15lbs lighter, I'd have hoe like tendencies
28. I miss the Undresser... that being said when is his blog getting back..
29. Being "trendy" is status quo being ORIGINAL is sexy...
30. If I was you I'd try to be me my sex aura is the bomb, men who never met have wet dreams about me!
31. I don't wanna grow up, then I do
32. You should NOT but your 3 year old in Baby Phat
33. Don't get dick whipped whip that dick
34. If you can't ride watch porn
35. Watch porn anyway MEN LOVE IT!

Dat kiss kiss kiss

I miss Jake in one of those really bad dysfunctional ways. I like donuts more than apples, I'm just an unhealthy person. Every time I hear that Chris Brown song kiss kiss I laugh because he sung that song the first time we kissed. Jake is retarded. A few days after we met, we went to Jack in the Box, the drive thru had like 4 other cars in it and the people were taking forever. Jake is changing the radio every ten seconds. Then kiss kiss is on and he says "You wan kiss me", I say "No I don't", he says "Girl u know u wan kiss me", I say "No I really don't" [I hate kissing] he grabs my face and bends my neck. He said "man you gon kiss me". This boy held my face and made me kiss him. It was hilarious kinda and crazy. I enjoy crazy.

oxymornic much... possibly

When I was younger I didn't date/like black guys. But when I did it was always a black guy who only dated white girls. I still have this issue. They don't have swag and most of them are losers but they have so much in common with me. It's like 2 token black kids dating it's cute almost. Anyway I have another one... crush I mean well I've had like 7 since I got to college. I get "friendzoned" all the time; the last one ended in a a tragic 90 second whatever the hell that was... really I'm not that good. Why do I always fall for the black guy who likes white girls? oxymornic?

Womp Womp Womp

Me: i know u going around around trying to scam freshmen today and u disgust me

Homeboy: wow...I kinda grew up lol I didnt encounter any chics today

promise

Me: translation = the freshmen girls kinda poo this year

or translation= I already banged all the summer scholars

Homeboy: LOL Nah I honestly didnt even go in the quad just one class then I left

but yeah they are poo too tho

Me: LMAO

So according to a reliable source the freshmen girls at LSU are ugly LOL! Well you know what that means... Southern get ready them LSU boys coming LOL!

For real bitch

If I hate you I really can't talk to you. But it seems that the "trend" is to hang with someone you can't stand only to bad mouth them. People devote their facebook and twitter to their "haters" and I'm thinking how they know all your business unless... a. you tell it or b. the ones closest to you fuckin clean over you. I've always thought that honesty was the best policy: ask me. If you really wanna know anything about me ask. But no one ever does or will. I find that hilarious. Women would rather go around talking shit about each other for doing the same damn thing everyone else is doing than learn the facts.
Note: I don't have haters because to me they don't exist I got better shit to do with my time like making your boyfriend suck my toes. LOL! No really that's not directed towards anyone because I extra don't give a fuck LOL.

Personally

I've had the wonderful experience of having friends who smashed.
His story and her story were like night and day.
Him: Man she was on all my shit she came like 5 times she was lovin my D.
Her: It was like 13 seconds I swear it wasn't a minute.

Mya told me about a guy who thought he was all that. Note to women: When a guy talks about how awesome his sex game is HE HAS A TINY DICK. I didn't make this up. Every girl I know says it. Men who brag lack something. Silent but deadly is not only about farts it's about size.

So Mya's bold ass tells dude he's a complete joke in bed and he's like no girl ever said that before...

I vowed to stop faking, I think all women should pledge to stop faking giving these wack ass bigger egos.

The Mystery

Nobody I blog about knows who anyone else I blog about is. I like it that way. I respect my friends and everyones trust is important to me.
It's funny actually Hov is trying to figure out who Gretchen is and Gretchen is pissed cause I never told her who Hov was. These 2 are hilarious.

Gretchen: Umm so who is this boy you always talking about? I don't know him. That's messed up.

Hov: Gretchen Rules! I think I saw a picture of you 2 one day when I was stalking you. (So he likes me likes me and not just likes me... giving yourself away dude... and I like it)

[Note: Hov's never seen Gretch. Don't go through my facebook trying to figure out who people are because they aren't those people.]

Triple Booked

I love my homegirls. It's happened to everyone at a certain point. For me I go home and everybody is only in town for a few days. Mostly it's friend girls not boos. If all 3 of my boos were in town at once I'd ignore Jake (that's normal). Then I'd go back and forth about whose more important.... most times it's Hov.

Conversation as followed:

Gretchen: So I'm triple booked
Me: Well it doesn't matter if you not giving em all the puss
Gretchen: Them niggas know I'm not fuckin dem
Me: Yeah whatever
Gretchen: I'm really not having no sex tonight
Me: That's that bullshit
Gretchen: Well there's a tiny weeny innie weenie chance I might have sex with....
Me: Uh huh
After I told her she'd be the subject of my blog
Gretchen: Oh nooo bitch

Saturday Tibits

He's a definitely gay random text message edition:
Toni: Tom just called himself a socialite I'm in mourning because I have clearly been fucking a fag (LOL no really I laughed)

Convo with the homeboy:
Man, I just told everything she wanted to hear and she was trying to fuck after she "hated me" and "cried all night". Hoes believe anything.

Why do women think a half assed apology after 3 days of him ignoring/not calling them constitutes giving a man the puss? Why do women always think the puss is a revenge mechanism par example Erykah Badu - Green Eyes "Just make love to me, Just one more time and then you'll see..." NEWS FLASH: Giving a man puss he barely worked for isn't revenge it's a gift. Furthermore why are women in their early 20s so eager to believe anything? I have photographic memory if I said he was with another chick he was.

Mid-day convo

I love my friends for this reason... mid day convo! Please feel free to email me random ass convo I love it!

We've been friends for a while now so I wonder:

Me: does ur dick have a curve in it
Homeboy: SLANTED MA
my dick retawwwded.....da dumbway lol
Me: I'm just nosey I don't wanna see
unless it's somethin u could brag on in which case hey dick pix!
Homebody: WOW

Dick by area code LOL:
Lynn: when u comin to town
Toni: no clue girl i got some top 3 sex last night! comment on that
his peen got a curve to it lol, first time seeing that
Lynn: i've seen curves 1 was a bit too much the other was just nice
am I posta be jealous cause u finally gettin good dick I bn gettin it LMAO
Toni:what???!!!! who??
wtf you keeping secrets now!
Lynn: I told u abt my 5 orgasms
I mean been as in all the yrs of my college life
u know i get laid zero these days
Toni: oh lol well im not used to good sex from the 318, all my good d has come from 225, 985, and 504 another reason i love the south
Lynn: I'mma need u to explore some outta state area codes 832 is beastly
Toni: lol im scared to go out of state, i feel as long as i keep it local im not that much of a slut
the minute i cross state lines i feel like im going to just be gone forever. no coming back
Lynn: LOL bitch what?
In your whole college career u never had outta state dick?
Toni: yeah but it wasn't good, it was from sugarland, tx
i said all my GOOD d comes from south la
and i had some s. carolina d but he sucked too.
Lynn: ..... my 305 dick is a beast
Toni: i think im biased
Lynn: I think Houston is amazing
Toni: well they must be from different neigborhoods bc mine sucked

*names are always changed and I am always ME lol!

Just STOP

Some women see persistence as a sign of determination, which is true to an extent persistence in getting goals accomplished is determination. Persistence in approaching women is a sign of desperation. Women are simple as hell if we're 1/4 interested men will know. BUT if we ignore every advance you make STOP. We don't want you. You fall into the Mr. Never gonna get the puss category...
Here's the story.. every time I comment on any one's facebook status someone friend request me. Well this same guy has friend requested me like 10 times. I don't know him and he creeps me out. My friend girl said he's a nice kid so this 10th time I add him. He poked me... I don't care if it was a friendly gesture... Lil boy I don't know you. JUST STOP. I'm normally way more rude than this but today I feel like dump. And since you're younger than me let me give you a word of advice women like men who aren't too clingy so back back :-)

I'm NEVER bored

The undresser said bored is code for I want some dude to come over and bone me... That's probably true. So I don't say I'm bored. I say I'm not interested in what I'm doing lol. In a brief survey of my friend girls I found the phrases women are most likely to use when they want it.

• What are you doing later?
• I have this *blank* and it's really heavy can you come move it please?
• I'm watching *his favorite show* you should come over.
• I haven't seen you in forever we should hang out
• I'm stressed I need some relief
• I don't have anything to do and all my friends ditched me (that happens to me alot)
• Come here
• What you eating tonight (courtesy of crazy ass Mya)

I'm not a fan of the eating... It's more a control thing than a turn on.

Sexting

I can't lie well I can but I chose not to... I'm a fan of dick pix if you wanna send I wanna look but I might not return the favor.
I am the queen of copy and paste so this is a convo I just had with the homegirl [Mya]:

Mya: blog about this shit
me: tell me the story
Mya: ok its not a story really lmao
me: tell me now bioch
Mya: so i coined yesterday send a dick pic day... because w/in the span of 2 hrs i received a pic from 2 different guys lmao and i didnt ask for them!
Mya: my pt one of them was thick but it wasnt big- if yo shit not on... dont send it lmao
Mya: send a chick a dick pic hahahahhaha
me: LMAOI'm copy and pasting sorry i gotta
Mya: lmao ok

So fellas keep in mind we talk about the pix and if there pityful we show people but if they look real nice we keep that a secret.
*all names are always changed duh

Trailer Trash

The people I work with are trash for the most part. They ain't never had shit, never wanted shit and never been worth shit. Low expectation hoes kill me. I know that not everyone wants the same thing in life but a camo wedding. And aspiring to have a good 2 bedroom house. I could never aim low. I HATE THESE HOES

Crazy mad stupit

1. Men with sense don't really amuse me
2. Make believe is not half as hilarious as real life
3. There are so many other things I wanna blog but...
4. Why does one person always love the other person more?
5. No matter how equal we get love can never be 50/50
6. I have a potty mouth
7. Some dude from England found me on twitter... he likes the blog...stalker-ish but flattering because he's not ugly
8. I think if your attractive your a fan but if your UGLY then you're a stalker
9. I'm not a Ludacris fan...
10. I don't like twitter I just use it to plug the blog
11. Maybe just maybe if you really love the blog you should tell people about it
12. I'm waiting to hear Nene Leakes on the radio.
13. I'm going to blog anything funny about it
14. Her book came out today I'm not buying that shit
15. Some gossip site is gonna spill everything worth knowing

... ummm (don't judge me it's research)

I'm debating wheter or not to copy and paste the conversation I'm having right now...
I been sitting here for like 15 minutes... he gon probably hate me but it's too funny. This dude has issues but I enjoy it... I apologize in advance for my honesty the (...) are y thoughts this whole time

• Jake Steed -whoa (he wants me)
• Me- whats good wit ya
• Jake Steed- nuttin horny (I knew that)
• Me -u borin and u always horny
• Jake Steed-u like (wtf kinda question is that)
• Me-I think u crazy and I enjoy that for some strange reason
• Jake Steed-u horny (as if)
• Me-no
• Jake Steed- mayne wut (country ass)
• Me-I aint there anyway so if I was I wouldnt see u
• Jake Steed-u could have phone sex (really? you can't make sentences that good)
• Me- u can get the pussy from anybody why is u actin crazy
• Jake- I could I want urs (...all his other hos figured out he crazy)
• Me-we aint fuck in like 2 years how u even remember
• Jake-yea I remember bae (we only did at my house so I know u ain't got me on tape)
• Me-man u crazy but i like it
• Jake-yu want phone sex (phone sex? we live an hour away)
• Me-NO
• Jake-y (maybe I should have said that and not thought it)
• Me-cause
• Jake-let's do this 1 now (he's wildin)
• Me-I'm at work
• Jake-Tex it (sexting at work... he's taking it too far)
• Me-for true?
• Jake-yea
• Me-like real talk I don't like phone sex
• Jake-tex me (what are u gonna get from this?)
• Me-I just rather fuck
• Jake-we can do both (he ain't got laid in like 2 days he losing his mind)
• Me-u told me to kick rocks the last time I saw u now u want me?
• Jake-yea (and I'm supposed to jump for joy?)

This shit was hilarious... and well... yeah Jake...

Ran-dumb's

1. Why is the meat at Wendy's a square?
2. What is Angus beef?
3. I could devote this blog to food with the same if not more enegry.
4. Jodeci should get a reality show
5. I don't like that new Whitney Houston song
6. I don't drink beer but I fucks with Corona and Bud Light with Lime
7. If I had balls I'd get hair like Amber Rose
8. Amber Rose is fine I judge women and she is a beast
9. I'm afraid of tomatoes
10. I had a dream I ate pudding I HATE PUDDING
11. I think one of my homegirls is a complete jackass sometimes and she might be retarded but I LOVE HER.
12. And if you ever talk about her I'll curse you out and kick you in the ankle.
13. I'm so happy destroyed denim is fashionable again.
14. I really want Chinese food like everyday
15. My mission is 6 pack by Halloween
16. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week... yeah I'm that focused
17. God loves me so I kinda don't care what you think
18. Apples are really good.
19. I heart Miley Cyrus... she can't sing but I love her music
20. I'm so cheap this website was the first thing I bouht full price (besides food) all year.

Open your mouth wider

They say a closed mouth don't get fed. So open your mouth wider. I guess it's go off on women day for me but seriously. How can you be thirsty for men & their money but not for personal success? It gets under my skin. Women are quick to claim their independence while trying to suck a nigga dry. I guess watching the real housewives annoyed me. Sheree said people are intimidated by her success. "She got some NFL dick and had 2 kids" That's success?? Every bitch in the hood can trap a man. Does she have a degree? Has she ever had a career? Is she skilled in some way? All these hoes know how to do is talk about success yet they don't produce anything successful. Stop being thirsty and get your own. Open up and get what's important you dumb bitches!