oxymornic much... possibly

When I was younger I didn't date/like black guys. But when I did it was always a black guy who only dated white girls. I still have this issue. They don't have swag and most of them are losers but they have so much in common with me. It's like 2 token black kids dating it's cute almost. Anyway I have another one... crush I mean well I've had like 7 since I got to college. I get "friendzoned" all the time; the last one ended in a a tragic 90 second whatever the hell that was... really I'm not that good. Why do I always fall for the black guy who likes white girls? oxymornic?

I doubt it but

Hov: You know 1/2 your friends wanna do me?
Me: which half?
Hov: I mean you make me sound perfect on the blog.
Me: But when I talk to my real friends about you they know your flaws. I just can't blog your flaws.
Hov: Well you gotta stop making me sound perfect

He ain't perfect! He's gained about 25lbs since I met him. LOL! His lips are really soft I'm always afraid I'm gonna hurt em. When he gets mad he goes for blood. He's not just an asshole he's nice with the asshole-ness.
So yeah... you happy?

Toni & Brandon

Toni told me Brandon asked if she was afraid of what I might blog about her... I told Toni Brandon has a huge member... (that's what I heard)
I assume Brandon scrolled down my friend list trying to see if anyone would confess to being someone and he didn't wanna be Brandon LOL

The Tale of Hov

I met Hov in 2006. I was outside crying about b.b.u he always did something wrong. Then my mom pissed me off the same day. I was so angry. I'm venting to Antione (see when I talk about you I say your name ok boootch). He [hov] was with his friend. His friend is cute but he just didn't do it for me... but that tall dude with the Yankee hat on... he did it for me. He didn't run game on me he felt sorry for me because I was so upset... I felt wack. He told me he was gonna be my best friend... I thought not. My underwear got happy the first time he pronounced my name the right way. We have this rare thing... it's a crotch magnet... Everyone I know has told me they've met one person who they can't keep their hands off. For me that is Hov.
2 years ago we tried to watch football together I sat on the other side of the room and I left after 10 minutes I couldn't handle it.

Dear Hov,
You kinda own my vag.... :-(

Dream Wedding

Erykah Badu & Ziggy Marley -In love with you is my wedding song
I wanna be barefoot when I get married
I'm getting married on a beach
My toes are the bomb diggity
I want good cake CHOCOLATE
Fuck all that vanilla mess
I don't care what my bridesmaids do
I don't care who shows up.
I just want the groom to be like she so gorgeous and adorable and I effn love this lil crazy bitch!

The woman has a mustache

1. This woman has a full stache
2. I decided to be a twit-slut
3. I'm gonna twitter fine men only [and friend boys] LOL
4. I'm dying to say "touch my body", "biooootch", and "I'm tryna get outta dis box"
5. Don't be texting me stuff about stuff that ain't important or funny
6. I'm gonna go crazy before tomorrow
7. I like arguing it's cute
8. Somebody text me and I'm all warm and fuzzy... LMAO
9. I'm wack as hell
10. If one more person tells me about myself I'mma fight em
11. I already said dat whatever u think is witty and original u ain't make that shit up... I said it about me a long time ago jackass
12. Me and Barkley are having a baby b.c I refuse to strap up
13. Barkey is the batteries... either u get it or you don't
14. I didn't even eat my yogurt :-(
15. It's raining. I wanna make out
16. I like yogurt
17. I just opened the yogurt and it squirted on my neck
18. GROSS

The adventures of S-curl, Ponytail and Mohawk

While these are all hairstyles I deem gay they are also people.

I don't fuck short men... it's not my thing. I demand respect from them bitchs though.

Anyway... we met last year I ain't care to meet that bitch..

Light brights bother me too looking all pale and bitch made

So we're at the apartment and this nigga walks in and introduces himself to everyone except the girls, granted if I wasn't 504 and I met 2 504 ass girls I would be a little afraid but this punk had no manners or he was straight fag... so when I tell you I don't know dat bitch and I don't care... I mean he gets pumped in the butt and that's gay.

Trailer Trash

The people I work with are trash for the most part. They ain't never had shit, never wanted shit and never been worth shit. Low expectation hoes kill me. I know that not everyone wants the same thing in life but a camo wedding. And aspiring to have a good 2 bedroom house. I could never aim low. I HATE THESE HOES

I'm always pissing somebody off

• I laugh at everything
• But this is not a joke
• When women get mad they wanna tell you all the reasons
• When men get mad they ignore the fuck outta you
• I can't handle being ignored
• I don't know a person alive who can
• No matter how bold
• How come sandwich meat is round but sandwich bread is square...
• How long has high frutose corn syrup existed?
• We had a Toya impersonation party and the winning sentence was "I'm trying to get outta this box"
• She's a really pretty girl... I'm not hating on her but the rest of the world is
• Why can't women just be happy for one another?
• Essence did a whole issue on the mean-ness among women.
• If I'm jealous of you I'll tell you.

Crazy mad stupit

1. Men with sense don't really amuse me
2. Make believe is not half as hilarious as real life
3. There are so many other things I wanna blog but...
4. Why does one person always love the other person more?
5. No matter how equal we get love can never be 50/50
6. I have a potty mouth
7. Some dude from England found me on twitter... he likes the blog...stalker-ish but flattering because he's not ugly
8. I think if your attractive your a fan but if your UGLY then you're a stalker
9. I'm not a Ludacris fan...
10. I don't like twitter I just use it to plug the blog
11. Maybe just maybe if you really love the blog you should tell people about it
12. I'm waiting to hear Nene Leakes on the radio.
13. I'm going to blog anything funny about it
14. Her book came out today I'm not buying that shit
15. Some gossip site is gonna spill everything worth knowing

Trev-intion's

• Low expectation hoe- A bitch who give the puss to a guy who works for less than minium wage
• Sorry dick- It's not small but seriously if you say ride that big dick one more time I'm gonna laugh
• Desperate fuck- when you pretend sex is good because some is better than none
• Hoe- women who act a ass (flirts too much, skirts too short, always in heels, looks like a freak but you have no proof)... whether or not they have sex nobody knows but by all outward indicators they fucking all the time (most times women judge them and are shatter to find out they get little to no dick) LOL I've been wrong about some many girls then I realized I'm hoe-ish I never wear pants I flirt all the time and my mouth is filthy... LOL oh well... if you can't take it you shouldn't dish it.
• Sluts- they bout that action. They don't have to dress like it or talk like it or talk about it. They look normal par example she probably fuckin but just one guy. (I was dead wrong, male best friend told me this girl was a slut and I almost cried she looks so nice and innocent...)
• Slut buckets- The wide opens as in anybody can spit in it... like that hoe that looks like a horse. I don't know her but I swear she has aids ha ha
• Fuck boy- A man who might as well have a period... the mood swings are thick he does things that be reserved to women (gossiping, lying about your boo)

That's all for now bioootch

True story

The worst memory I have of sex is Valentine's day 2006... We watched cartoons all day it was pretty chill. (I don't ask for much I'm simple) Then one thing lead to another and.... duh. Well Keyshia Cole- Love came on and before the chorus started it was over. I got up and got dressed and left. I was pissed. I didn't wanna try again. I didn't want a do-over. I was MAD. I'm made thinking about it anyway.. that was short.

Can I take it back

I'll call her Carly only because I don't know a Carly. She met this guy and everything about him was perfect. Until she got him naked... womp womp waamm. She said it was the smallest she'd ever seen.. and "He tried to hit it from the back like that would make it better." It gets worse... I've heard this same story concerning different men at least 10 times...
ooops

Confession #1: I let a retard sell me a dream

2 maybe 3 years ago I met this guy. He was so cute. I don't ever go for cute. But something about him drew me in. Well after the first conversation I realized he was kinda slow. Not a full retard but probably a child of incest or something. You know me... I only live once so why not. Dude told me the strangest stuff. I don't even think he formulated sentences it was just random word mumbling. I thought he was young.. then I thought he was strange then I realized he was retarded. But I liked the idea of "us". (he had pretty peen) LOL! Anyway I thought I'd have a dream life with the retard and get over the fact that he was dumb as fuck. That didn't happen. Now I think he's gay... not because he's a retard because he's an Ed Hardy fan.

I thought I was going insane

Apparently hackers got into twitter and facebook thats why I couldn't log onto anything
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_tec_twitter_outage

People dis agree with me

1. Chinese food is awesome


2. Women lie better than men hence us acting a ass often


3. I'm on line 246 of this damn spread sheet


4. All the old people I talk to say it's a waste of time to get commited "at my age"


5. Ladies don't trust me


6. Go interview a divorced woman


7. I'm so ready for those real housewives


8. I'm still starving


9. Can I eat now?


10. Come baby light my fire everything you drop is so tired... I MISS LAURYN HILL


11. Just watched the trailer for "Good Hair"


12. To quote Lu "I didn't know Lauren London had a weave"


13. So Just cause she's half white she can't have weave


14. Tia had all kinda weave on the Game


15. I think it's tv fault that we think we should be in relationships right now


16. I'm so exhausted.


17. Work makes my brain hurt


18. And I'm hungry

Neekid headed

I forgot that I said I was naming a post neekid headed today. This should be bullets..

• I'm not afraid of people knowing who I am
• I'm afraid of exposing my heart
• I can tell you how I feel about anything
• Opinions are meant to be altered and re arranged
• If today wouldn't have happened would "we" be this honest
• They say you have to do something you've never done to get something you never had
• I never had the balls to tell the whole truth
• This is a fraction... I type and erase you don't know the half
• I hate Bobby Jindal he doesn't care about Louisiana and it disgust me
• I care about Louisiana
• And fk Ray Nagin
• I'm tired of people who claim they love New Orleans fuckin her worse the Katrina
• If I was rich I'd give back not go away
• Daddy says I'm naive to think I can change this place
• And I think "well maybe you don't practice what you preach"
• I never say it though
• I keep secrets
• Important ones at least
• If you tell me somebody said that somebody said but not to tell.... umm fuck you the world already knows
• Crackheads love me
• That night when you were late (you were always late) it was cold and I was listening to Lyfe on the parade grounds and I realized you were probably more than a friend b.c a tear came out of my eye for no reason.
• Ginfer asked me if I could love 2 people at once... still don't know
• Someone questioned how an elitist like me could fall for someone with horrible grammar
• I can fall in love with a brown paper bag if it's nice
• Plus when I was 19 I had no standards it's bad when I say that about myself but it's true
• Back to the gorgeous one
• You and the yankee hat and the beer at Chimes... well ya'll know what you can do lol
• I'm really hungry
• I wrote this list of everything I wanted in a man it's kinda short it's basic but it's unique and you
• I didn't have anyone in mind it was just words
• Crazy how you find what you always wanted while cursin about can't get right.

I spilled the effn beans

If you followed me on twitter and read my blog I spilled the beans but if you don't o well... I miss Jigg big ups to Jigg all my other friends don't compare. They half way decent. I feel like report card day am I about to get in trouble... hope not.. matter of fact I don't care. For the last 4 years of my life I have run around testing this niggas patience and he ain't hit me yet. I deserved a good choke maybe a slap. So why not... nigga gave me a inch and I'm taking 20 miles. I'mma keep sayign stuff I shouldn't say b.c I like doing hood rat stuff on the internet with my friends.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA