Good Pussy

"I think all girls with good pussy are friends, you don't think that" - Dumb Gretchen Sr.

According to all my male friends most pussy is good... Bad pussy is hairy, dry, funky, and/or WIDE OPEN! Which means more than half of women probably have a groomed, wet, fragant, and/or tight pussy.

(She told me I had to blog about this)

I think and have always thought it takes SO much to make a dick great but not much to make a pussy good. Extraordinary pussy does tricks and shit! A man has to be long, thick and have a great stroke.. A woman has to do keggles and make sure it's wet... It's really not far, we can control our good factor for men, he's either born with it or he's not... poor thang.

Which makes me think of anything, all pussy is the same you better step your personality game up!! Bitches ain't got shit to offer but they want ballers...

"Pennies looking for silver dollars, yeah you are"

This has been the post as requested. The end!

Happy Birthday Blog!

1. People who don't know me in real life should suck a fat dick!
2. I don't lie about things that don't matter... e.g. my past, present or future
3. "I know u gon write some shade shit"
4. I've been writing for a year now and I feel like a completely different person, my blog used to revolve around Big & Hov... now it revolves around bullshit and comedy...
5. I still have men friends I just don't write about them
6. I'm seriously listening to "Oochie Wally"... but why??
7. Nasty songs make me laugh and boost my ego... it's the hoe in me
8. Niggas is bitches too, go on brush ya shoulders off
9. I think fuckin nasty triflin niggas/bitchs is like sticking your hand in a bucket of a million peoples spit.. even if u have a rubber glove on.. why would you do that??
10. In other news, if you think something about me... ask me.. PLEASE don't assume... it makes me feel lame
11. This blogging journey has helped me to realize my flaws
12. I can be wrong.. it's ok.. I'm not prideful to say that
13. I hate pride it ruins people
14. Monogamy doesn't exist in your 20s... unless you're of a rare breed in which case GO GIRL
15. If a man has NO ambition how the fuck he gon marry you??
16. Do bitchs think before they start handing out act right??
17. Giving "ain't shit niggas"a chance has NEVER benefited anyone... moving along
18. The men who don't have shit always get mad when you want the men who have shit..
19. Let me say this again "Women like big dick and money.. do you have that??"
20. LONELY ASS!
21. Men are more bitter than women especially the ones without jobs, cars, lives, ambition... BUT they wanna drag you down...
22. Being stuck up isn't a bad thing.. what's the opposite of stuck up?? EASY!
23. I work 45 hour weeks I deserve somebody who has some shit going for them
24. If you got alot going for you why settle?
25. Them other hoe could settle
26. Any man who asks a women for money don't have a dick
27. Why are dudes so pussy??
28. I'm ranting aren't I?
29. I love myself it's not a sin!
30. Kim Jones is the greatest.

And who are we to judge??

I didn't think the first thing I blogged about would be someone elses marriage but crazier things have happend. Tonight I got sucked into watching Khloe & Lamar's wedding story. Honestly I don't think anyone can act that well. From day one, if both parties are being perfectly honest you can tell if you click. There are so many people who had sex the first night because it seemed right, so why can't they get married in the first month? I know one person who got married to her one night stand. They did date for 2 years before they got married but how wild is that?

I've often said that people are so quick to give away sex but guard their hearts & emotions. People play games to avoid letting anyone know them. It hurts to care. Lamar & Khloe seem to have let down their guards and shown their true emotions. It's really a beautiful thing. After all the celeb marriages that only lasted a week at least these two have been happy for a month... but mostly

Who are we to judge??

I'm personally jealous because I'm not married lol

Your homeboy: The dickryda

Disclaimer: It's about more than one person... duh! P.S. I could give a fuck less if someone gets offended.. my ass is big enough for more than one person to kiss at a time!

Dickryda [trev-intion]- the guy who has no unique talent, skill or ability that leech's onto guys with unique talent, skill or ability. He always refers to himself as *****'s homeboy, or "I work for **** he's my boy". These men have NO desire to have their own success because a long time ago they realized they weren't good at anything.

I'm extremely annoyed by the entourage... I understand that the barber, the stylist, the agent... etc are important but when you have a guy who calls the club to let them know famous friend is coming notsamuch. I hate how some people have no desire to be good at anything except tagging along. These guys could get real jobs be instead they wanna be famous by hanging off someone elses coat tails. That doesn't make you attractive.. nobody wants the fuck the guy whose cool with the basketball team or the guy who doesn't have a job but Mr. Celeb Status throws him some change sometimes... GET YOUR OWN IDENTITY!!! If a girl fucks Mr. Celeb Status she's a "bopper" but dickryda can just hang ol boys nuts forever and that's cool...

Please proceed to get the fuck!

Geeeesh

When someone hurts you.. you try to hurt them back. I don't think that makes sense. You have to know someone to really hurt them. That's the first problem. Women are so willing to open up to men that only have one goal. I'm upset with women for being so willing to settle into these dream houses.

There are some women I follow on twitter that I don't know personally but I do know who they used to fuck because they always tweet negative things about them. When do people grow up and decide that things truly happen for a reason?If you hurt me I feel sorry for you. God loves me, he just likes you.

Caution Tape

In middle school I did D.A.R.E I'm sure everyone did. Oddly enough the only thing I learned from D.A.R.E was that if there are drugs on a certain street people put tennis shoes on the power lines.

About 3 weeks ago there was a huge drug bust about 10 miles away from my house ever since the day that happened there has been caution tape tied on the power lines.

The communication system between people who sell & buy drugs amazes me. Clearly I'm so far outside that world I don't get it. Hanging caution tape from power lines is a really smart move. I hate to see wasted potential, I think that's the sin they forgot to put in the Bible. How many people could have found the cure for something or saved lives but instead wasted all that potential selling rocks?? I wonder...

The [Fabulous] Life of...

I used to be acquainted with a compulsive liar. I found it hilarious. She'd tell me stories and tell our other friends different versions of the same story. I often wondered if she knew she lied. She told Kimber she had only slept with two people. She told me 5 and some outlandish story about her and her high school soccer coach. I wondered if she said those things to fit in or if she really imagined this "life" she was living. Everybody lies to an extent. Somebody conceal the truth to make it more appealing while others... weave and fabricate elaborate fairy tales for no apparent reason. My mothers last husband was a compulsive liar he was also a con-artist. Compulsive liars really bother me.I try my best to keep it 100 but sometimes I keep it 85 because if I told you everything I was thinking you'd hate me. I won't front the internet helps me to lie... I don't always look cute but I don't put unattractive pictures of myself on the internet I'm just NOT that secure. I don't know how to laugh at myself and while I rarely get embarassed I don't wanna try ever.

Random Truth: I've flunked outta college 3 times and the last 2 times it was because I had a 1.5 GPA 1 letter grade from a 2.0 the most annoying stuff in the world...
No I'm not joking it's that real

"People who gossip to YOU, gossip about YOU" -Brook Lynn Carter

Last night I talked to Gretchen about a rumor.

Gretchen feels like people talk about you no matter what you do or how good of a person you are so oh well. Sometimes I care what people think. I admire Gretchen so much because girl really don't give a damn she lives life to the fullest and thats it. Then I remember how I thought Toni was a good girl and she's a fuckin slut. The girls you think are about that action... not so much... them Toni's get dat dick and get it often! LOL!

Part 2:
Gretchen said "Well people swear I only talk to dudes with money but I den talked to a broke dude before I love broke dudes"
FUCK DAT! I don't love broke dudes call me what you need to call me but I wake up every morning at 7 a.m and I grind. You ain't gotta be famous or cute, my physical standards are low but broke?? You could get the fuck on that one. A party promoter, gets no pussy EVER. If you don't work in an office and wear ties and shit... ummm you don't get da draws. He could work in the mail room thats working your way up to something. But all these professional party boys do me a favor boo get the fuck.

Pretend guy friend

Mya: They want the best for u most of the time.. sometimes they wish ur shit would fail so u could see the good in them...

Toni has a friend... Mya does to... I used to... And Gretchen just doesn't notice.
Every girl has had that awesome guy friend who they could talk to about anything. He's the best dude ever UNTIL you start dating. Mya's friend is the worst... or maybe Toni's shit idk. Mine is no longer a part of my life because I don't like bitchmade men.
The "pretend guy friend" really has a crush on you or some sick fucking obsession; no guy you like is "good enough" for you. Mostly because those guys aren't him. See the "p.g.f" is a friend because theres nothing exciting about him, nobody wants him and when you ask around about him "stalker, weirdo and he's nice but thats about it" is all you hear. Mya's friend rarely gets play or act right because he's annoying ugly and clingly. The "p.g.f" always has low self esteem, nothing about him stands out he isn't popular, people generally know his face but never his name. The p.g.f is dangerous because he's just like a bitch he talks shit about you to his boys and his other friend girls but the trip part his he's just jealous because you fucking and he's not.

Famous P.G.F quotes:
"Girls don't want a nice guy they want an asshole" <-- Yes because assholes have high self esteem and dress well.

"He's not as intelligent as you are and you need someone on your level" <-- WHO? Your boring ass I'd rather commit suicide.

"My friend told me he saw him with another girl, if i was you I'd stop talking to him he's playing you" <--- who said I wasn't fuckin other people? And why are you & your boys going against the g code?? [pussy ass bitchmade men]

NEWSFLASH: Guys who get into the "friend zone" are there because something about them is sweet but everything else about them is wack so stop wasting your breathe critizing your homegirls romantic choices there is nothing you can say or do will make her want you.

P.S. If your offended kill yaself.

For real bitch

If I hate you I really can't talk to you. But it seems that the "trend" is to hang with someone you can't stand only to bad mouth them. People devote their facebook and twitter to their "haters" and I'm thinking how they know all your business unless... a. you tell it or b. the ones closest to you fuckin clean over you. I've always thought that honesty was the best policy: ask me. If you really wanna know anything about me ask. But no one ever does or will. I find that hilarious. Women would rather go around talking shit about each other for doing the same damn thing everyone else is doing than learn the facts.
Note: I don't have haters because to me they don't exist I got better shit to do with my time like making your boyfriend suck my toes. LOL! No really that's not directed towards anyone because I extra don't give a fuck LOL.

Wait...

I am not a prideful soul so it's more than easy for me to admit when I'm wrong. I hate people who need to tell me what they are over and over e.g miss fine hips and Mr. I get money (broke ass). Just live life and if the compliments come so be it. I'm the ugliest person in my family those women are the business clearly I know my role when it comes to them. And maybe my definition of average wasn't as clear as I'd hoped it was. Average is a way of life, its boring it's dull its ugly on purpose. I'm done defending myself to the man who won't send me dick pix. If you're so great show me the goods.... yes you sir LOL!

Average Girls

I hate average bitchs with a passion. Every time I get dumped the next chick is average as hell. Men make NO fuckin sense. Politicians par example, they marry these boring ass button up "perfect mother" women and cheat on them with fun exciting women. I don't know about anyone else but I think cheating SUCKS and it shouldn't be done. It's really men's fault. Your dick doesn't want granny panties and pubic hair but your fucked up "male logic" tells you thats what a "good mother" has. Ever wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Because your fucked up man logic is wrong.
I've been told that "you pretty bitchs" want a man to give you the world and them regular hoes are nicer. It's not my fault my genes made me more likely to get hit on it's also not my fault that their genes and lack of self worth made them a lil bit freakier than me. So why does pretty always have to mean something bad? And why these average hoes always get the good boos?
What is so appealing about an average bitch? Do you think you're the best thing an average bitch can get so she won't leave you? Is it a ploy to stroke the male ego?
I figured it out... You want average bitchs because I (& my fellow pretties) am fly enough to get the fuck...

I'm sorry Bitch

We all know I judge women glad that's clear.
I have a facebook "friend" who is ugly as hell but constantly talks about how fly she is. I don't think I'm Halle Berry but men love me so I know I'm not ugly. I just ponder why the ugliest lil jigga-boos always refer to themselves as fine and sexy and cutie pie. I don't call myself Ms. Sexy. Why do hood hoes always want to refer to themselves as Miss [include derogatory term]. That's pointless.
You don't see Beyonce calling herself Ms. Fine hips or some shit. Beyonce is cute but I don't crush on her.
Ignorant women get under my skin. Please stop taking pictures of all the items in your house. I am not impressed.

The adventures of S-curl, Ponytail and Mohawk

While these are all hairstyles I deem gay they are also people.

I don't fuck short men... it's not my thing. I demand respect from them bitchs though.

Anyway... we met last year I ain't care to meet that bitch..

Light brights bother me too looking all pale and bitch made

So we're at the apartment and this nigga walks in and introduces himself to everyone except the girls, granted if I wasn't 504 and I met 2 504 ass girls I would be a little afraid but this punk had no manners or he was straight fag... so when I tell you I don't know dat bitch and I don't care... I mean he gets pumped in the butt and that's gay.

Carrie Bradshaw vs. Candace Bushnell

Candace Bushnell is Carrie Bradshaw... I'm sure she stopped relating experiences to herself because of the backlash... I started this to be honest... And I am. Yet people still feel the need to start rumors about me. If you wanna know something ask me. I'll tell you if when and how.. I DON'T FRONT. I didn't feel like writing a blog to defend myself because people always believe what they wanna believe. Oh well... I probably offended some dude on "DL".

Last night I went back and forth with myself... to blog or not to blog? I prayed on it.. and God said nothing LOL... then this morning it was clear... they hated on Jesus he told the truth.

Carrie Bradshaw is one of the most iconic figures on television and she wasn't bullshitting either. Marilyn Monroe is an icon... nobody buys painting of Jackie Kennedy. Furthermore Lil Kim is everywhere and nobody outside the hip hop world knows who Faith is...

So I will continue in the tradition of the greatest people ever and say what I want when I want and how I want... besides you only read what you wanna believe.

Prude men

I hate prude men. I know several men who feel that men can do things women can't. I'm so tired of double standards. If women shouldn't men shouldn't. Then the cheating argument. You think it doesn't hurt women's pride when men cheat. You think our friends don't look at us differently. You think we don't sit around wondering what was so bad about us that made you wanna get with her. The psychological consequences of cheating fuck over women way worse. Prude men bother me. It's just like wtf.

I read gossip sites

• I haven't watched Tiny and Toya since the second episode.
• I think Michael Jackson's funeral messed over them.
• Eddie Winslow put super head on full blast lmao as if she could be blasted more
• Chris Brown took a picture with Niki Minja
• I wonder if him and Amber Rose and Niki are all "special friends"
• He had on a herringbone chain... lmao
• I saw the worst picture of Beyonce today
• All that damn make up
• Did you see Lisa Turtle yesterday? It was awful

but they ARE serious

She said something to the effect of "She really doesn't think she can get anyone better he can get her in clubs for free".... F*ckin for status?? I don't really know how I feel about women who chase men with "status". I'm not talking athletes or musicians. I'm talking men who own clubs or manage clubs... party promoters even. I blame near sighted-ness. I honestly can't see past next week. So I assume these chicks can't look past "the party years". Who really wants to settle down with someone they know is fucking 8 other people. Not saying all these guys are horrible but the ones I've encountered are gross. Then most of those men are old and married. I am totally grossed out by the idea that some young ladies bone married men. I'm not perfect but damn... do we just not respect anything anymore? Don't get it twisted I'm not defending women who fuck athletes and musicians I'm just saying the potential pay off is obvious. The gym teacher at Prep said "if you're gonna be a hoe be the best damn hoe possible." I'd rather be a million dollar hoe and than a payday loan hoe. If you're gonna be skilled and talented aim high hoe. That's why I don't like it because its low budget... club owners and such might not even make 6 figures... get ya hoe game up... LMAO

Astrology my ass

I don't believe in astrology and I'm really tired of people trying to convince me its real... today the president was born, also my old boss and this girl I went to high school with and this dude with a mo hawk. All of these people are different. I can't think of anything they have in common but this day. If I could jump on astrology like Rick James did to Eddie Murphy's sofa I would. I think Elizabeth Taylor was born on my birthday I ain't nothing like that bitch. Also my friend's friend has my birthday and she dumb. November 23 par example my cousin, hanna montana, bbu and somebody else I can't think of... They all crazy but that has nothing to do with that day. LMAO. Astrology has never helped anyone to do anything so it's existence is pointless you can't change my mind. If you disagree...Guess who bought this site? not you bitch. I say what I want

But I'm dumb

This woman at work drives me.. I taught her to use google and she insults me. She's dumb as hell she called the i.t guy to ask how to put something in bold but I'm dumb. I realize that I'm not 5 foot and I sound like a chipmunk sometimes but I'm not dumb. I hate being insulted. I'm young... that means I can grasp concepts better than women in their 50s but they don't get that... bitches