Oh. Baby. Do. It

1. Fuck hard! I mean why wouldn't you!
2. When it doesn't rain it's too hot but when it rains it pours.
3. AGAIN, real hoes are the ones you've never heard of. Men keep real hoes a secret and publicly degrade ducks without morals. I can't make this shit up!
4. I'm always motivated to write when I'm not close to my laptop.
5. Back in the day, dudes protected women from excessive shade. Discretion works to every ones advantage. Hoes will in fact hoe more when it's a secret.
6. Feather earrings scare me.
7. I can't say I really care about Casey Anthony... I mean it's wrong it's really wrong but bad things happen a lot.
8. Focusing on being a good person will get me further in life than focusing on other peoples fuck ups. That's insensitive to some but real to all.
9. I get tired of talking about love. It'll happen. But complaining about it doesn't make it happen faster.
10. My booboo said #shade is too small we have to throw Oprah Oak... *follow me camera*
11. "She only denies fucking him because we said he was lame" << Ma'am if you want to fuck lames we don't care!!! I mean you're happy.
12. It's funny when people are shamed of their fuck friend.
13. There's an illusion that if you talk a lot you care. It ain't true!
14. You ever go on Facebook and look at your hood friends friends??? Them broads!!!! HIL-ARIOUS!!!!
15. I saw one girl with a full mustache and a lacefront. I was DEAD!

I'm done LOL!!

New Shoes & Naming Puppies

I'm a simply girl. I don't buy new shoes often maybe one pair every 6 weeks BUT most times I buy them & wear them once.

It's kind of like men. I buy new shoes (new-ness) every 6 weeks, I start texting maybe calling but by week 4 I usually tap out. I get bored or they seem more ugly it's always something! But then there's those comfort shoes those slippers no one ever sees you in! Those are the best! Which leads me to naming puppies.

Hello puppet

I get so tired of people not understanding what's going on. Rappers are on tv BUT that doesn't mean they're wealthy. That means their "popular". The flaw in negro logic is that popularity is equated to success I could show you the top 25 people on the Forbes lit & you'd say who the fuck is that. I want you to think beyond the things you are shown!!! You shouldn't aspire to work for someone you should aspire to OWN! Why is everyone so cool with following the status quo? You only do what your told, you live the way they want you to live... You don't question SHIT!! Right now you reading this and saying "yeah she's right" cause you believe everything you see!! It's all flawed.

I'm not telling you , you're wrong. I'm telling you you're dreaming too small. There's so much that hasn't been done that won't be done because you keep limiting yourself. I criticize because when I tell you I love you, you take me for granted and keep doing dumb shit. So when I call you a stupit duck, you feel offended, you start thinking critically, you actually reflect on your actions!! I'm pretty well planned... I know how you work!

Anything is possible when YOU stop saying what YOU can't do!!!

Why the f**k is you worried about it!!

Again, I ask why the f-ck is you worried about it???

All day everyday the social network community focuses on "issues" that don't have sh-t to do with nothing!!! And I ask again and again... Why the f-ck is you worried about it??? I'm not talking about the funny stuff. The funny stuff is GRRRRRRR-eat!! It's these "issues" that aren't really "issues".

Examples:

Or I could fall asleep...

There's so much you can do!!

When's the last time you jumped off a cliff? Oh never. Well that's no fun! I don't believe in everyones dream but I never discourage people. I think it's easier to live in fear than it is to take a risk. If you fail SO THE FUCK WHAT!? People fail all the time. No one remembers your failure after you succeed. No one who ever got it right got it right the first time and if they did they got something else wrong somewhere too. If we were meant to live life. Why not take the risks??? If you fail you'll have fun doing it!! Snooki got paid $32 thousand dollars to give a speech at Rutgers!! You think she lives in fear. NOPE!!! No one knew Jersey Shore would be successful but she's famous for being herself. Follow your heart. Live your dreams LOVE LIFE!! PRAISE GOD! Don't forget the last part.

The Dichotomy of Self

Websters defines dichotomy as something with seemingly contradictory qualities.

People (self included) judge you based on your views but most of us are two people. When judging it's so easy to forget how complex we are as people. Almost everyone I know has a moral conscious side that is a truly good person. That person has a strong relationship with their family & spirituality. That's the person people want to show most often. While that side isn't super cool outside Sunday morning. It's the person everyone really wants to be.
On the other hand those same people have a vice! For some it's sex (ME!) for others it's partying and alcohol, for most it's an obsession with materialism. & all of those things combined can be a vice too. It's this part of you that feels so good!!! It's wrong it's dead wrong BUT it's so GOOD. It's glamorized in pop culture. Everything we see says "Give into your vice. Vice is sexy. You wanna be sexy don't you? You want people to like you!!" It sucks so much!!

How can one be considered real or fake when everyone is multi-dimensional?

Gauge...

I feel like I've blogged this. Maybe I have. Maybe I haven't... Oh well read it again.

Everyone has a gauge, a measurement of how they judge people. Some people gauge based on past experiences. Most people gauge based on who they are and their ideas, knowledge, and intention. For example, if you go to the doctor you assume that the doctor knows what's wrong with you and can give you medicine or recommendations about how to get well. No one expects to go to the doctor and leave without knowing something about their condition. In the same way that we have expectations for people in professions we have expectations for people in our social/personal lives.

My personal gauge for example thinks everyone has pretty good intentions until they say something fucked up. We all think that people are somewhat like us. The reason most people get fucked in life is because they assume people are like them. They gauge with the idea that people have good intentions because they have good intentions. They think that because they like you, you like them. You're parents may have raised you to do things a certain way. & you think everyone else is that way BUT they're NOT! I'm early for everything, my parents are early people, not everyone else is early. Most people have no sense of promptness at ALL. It used to bother me SO much, now I realize that's just them. Now let's go a step farther and apply this to romantic relationships.

So wait... nothing

"What do you do when nothings wrong? And nothings quite right either?"

I love my blog. I love writing. & It sucks when I don't have shit to say. There's something missing. What I don't know. How to find it clueless. It seems like nothing in my life is wrong. Not saying it's perfect but nothing is wrong. There's no drama, no controversy, nothing exciting to look forward too. While I'm not totally stagnant, I have things to do. It's just awakward. I'm having conversations with friends and they have all this stuff going on and they think I'm an asshole because I have nothing to add BUT honestly I have NOTHING to add. I'm blank. I have no pending love interest, no mind blowing sex stories, no friend who annoys me to death, no enemy worth paying attention too. I have nothing. If you give me a topic I can probably discuss it if I'm forced to but as far as having new thoughts or ideas or some really funny shit. I seriously have NOTHING.

Do it NOW!

        
           I'm giving up procrastination for Lent. Even though I'm not Catholic. It seems so hard. I wanted to take the hardest thing possible and go for it. Being afraid of change hinders me more than anything. So forcing myself to do things in a timely manner is the easiest way to change. I'm ok with being uncomfortable if it yields amazing results!

I DO care

This weekend I had a conversation with someone about caring what people think. It's so cliche to say "I don't care what people think". But in a sense by saying that you show that you do care. I CARE. Not about every one all the time BUT I do care.

It's easy to pretend you don't care. But some how some way you always show it!

The Politics of Love & Life

It seems that no matter what kind of relationship you're in there's always a debate. We as humans get elected quite often. How many times have you put in a bid to be the BEST friend or transition from the friend zone to girlfriend or lover.

Destination: Unknown

Where are you going??

"On the road of life there are passengers and there are drivers" - some car commercial

Turning 25 for me is pretty big. I change bubbles, you know on forms when they ask you what age group you fit into, I am no longer comfortably seated between 18-24. I can't make the same mistakes, I honestly don't want to. "The decisions you make right now will be the ones that matter". That's all I keep hearing from everyone. And while I've delayed the growing up process tremendously I've also taken on some things that "grown" people wouldn't.

Death by phone

If phones were people they would be the ones we know are bad for us but we still can't let go!

Today, my iPhone broke! The camera just stopped working so I got a new phone. For about 2 hours I had no contacts or apps. Then I came home to sync my phone and for an hour I was phoneless. Being phoneless maybe the most painful situation ever for a young person. If your boyfriend dumps you, you grab your phone and text your friends. If you need to know where something is or what it's called, you google it from your phone! Phones are like hands! I'm so crippled by my phone it's really sad.

So I thought what if I didn't have a cell phone? What would I do? Would I be forced to go and see people? Would people come to see me? Would I actually pay attention while watching television or would I just sit on my laptop and do all the things I used to do on my phone? LOL! Technology has ruined communication. But we know that.

So as previously stated on my mission to grow and get better daily, I'm putting my cell phone down for 3 hours a day WHILE I'M AWAKE!!!

So it begins...

It doesn't feel like a decade just ended!

Honestly 2010 was the longest year of my life. I didn't think it would ever end. I guess when you have nothing to do every second feels like a minute and minutes feel like hours. Then when days seem like weeks it gets harder.

Breathing is no longer a luxury it's something I do get to do quite often. Life used to move so fast. Now it's s. l. o. w...  Changing pace is pretty healthy. I'm ready to press the gas again.

In 2011, I hope to be a better person. More of a "ray of sunshine" than the queen of shade. Trust me I'm still opinionated. I just realize that some people take opinions as facts then twist and distort my words to mean what they want them to mean. The price you pay for being honest (I know)!

My "Resolution" of sorts is just to be a better me. For myself and the people I love. I am going to grow from mistakes, learn from failures, smile in the hard times, appreciate the rain as much as the sun & keep rocking to the beat of my own drum.

Every month is like section in the book of life for me. Years are my chapters and I don't think the last chapter ended with the BANG I wanted. No regrets.

At this point, I just feel different. There's no way I can explain it, so I'm just living it!

I'm ready for all the mistakes, blessings, joys and pains that will come with 2011. I'm not afraid.

As the year ends...

I really wanted to come up with some witty hilarity for the moment but I have none. 



This is typically the time where I look at life & think what did I do this year. I failed a little this year... I tried when I should have quit and I quit when I should have tired. I never really took the time to think LONG term before. I mean like the real long term. Everyone says they want to be a teacher or an engineer what ever but do they draw solid maps to those destinations? I didn't.

We tend to die young (my dedication to Messy Mya)

R.I.P Anthony "Messy Mya" Barre

Preface: I am not outraged because he is from New Orleans, I'm not outraged because he's "famous". I'm outraged every time someone dies for a senseless reason. I was outraged when the 2 year old was murdered last month. I was outraged about the Derrion Albert situation.

Driving around on fumes

There's no substance no structure, they just exist...

I value substance. Things that don't bother other people BOTHER me. I'm not big on wealth as an idea of financial success, I'm big on ideology. Shallow relationships scare me, shallow people scare me. If the only thing you can offer to conversation is what you read on a gossip blog or saw on BET/VH1... I'm easily bored with you.

Evolution, wisdom, pride...

“Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.” - Kahini Gibran

When's the last time you told a story & made yourself the bad guy? When is the last time you honestly said "I was wrong", not after a long drawn argument I mean as soon as it happened.

The crossroads

Somewhere between high school and college, I changed. Something happened and what it was I was never sure. I tried to think it was my boyfriend at the time but I still had friends who did it so that wasn't a good excuse.
I guess I saw college as a whole new life... or maybe I took the promise literally...
No one really knows me, its funny I talk about a lot but not my secrets. The promise was that by the time we got to college we'd laugh at girls who did what we did in high school, shit even in middle school.
But she didn't change...

The Truth

Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit. - Edward R. Murrow

I don't keep many "social" things a secret. I don't feel the need to, if I did it I admit it. It makes life more simple. Besides one of my "friends" will tell one of their friends who will tell someone who doesn't care for me then everyone in my tiny universe will know anyway.
Most times the "rumors" or stories people tell about us only bother us because we don't want people to know our "dirty laundry". NEWSFLASH nothing is a secret if someone else was there. You tell he tells/ she tells. Shit gets out FAST! So why deny it?? Most things only hurt because we can't admit to ourselves who we really are. Me personally I know who I am and I don't lie about her.
Take Roseanne as the greatest example she gave a baby up for adoption before she was famous the kid surfaced, Roseanne said "She's mine", NO SCANDAL! No drama! Most people don't even know it happend because it wasn't dragged out or denied.

“The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.”



The truth scares people because they all want to be seen as "angels" funny thing is, if the world knows you a hoe! I learned these last few weeks that I'm not a hoe. I was relieved! I haven't done half the shit these so say "good girls" have NOT saying I'm an angel but my number is waayyyyyy lower than yours... *now they wonder what my number is* haha!!! I was a jaded fool who thought she was the one when she was really one of many... see my flaw ADMITTED! I can't be scandalous cause I refuse to lie... That's the bigger point. Think about it... but you won't change...

To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful. - Edward R. Murrow