The Politics of Love & Life

It seems that no matter what kind of relationship you're in there's always a debate. We as humans get elected quite often. How many times have you put in a bid to be the BEST friend or transition from the friend zone to girlfriend or lover.

The untold story

I keep secrets, people don't really ask so I never tell... maybe that's it. Anyway I was reminded of him so I tell you the story now...

Most people in my life right now assume I've always been Sam/Kim Jones... what they don't know is I got all that naive love shit out of the way at a very early age. I'm not bitter I just grew up too fast, in telling this story I have to force myself to be honest... too honest... Here goes:

Love is like...

I'm starting to think I've never been in "real" love. There was this trending topic about being strung & from everything I've read I've never even been sprung. I don't give money, I don't co habitate, I cheat often. Kari Ann said marriage isn't a logical option because the emotion it takes to give your all to someone isn't something we possess. BUT Kari Ann is worse than me, she had a kid. I couldn't have a kid. I wouldn't even get pregnant. I'm selfish too selfish. That's why I don't need monogamy or kids. My life revolves around me & my wants and needs.

I've never been truly heart broken because I've never given my all to anything. I'm not a fan of anything, I don't like anything alot besides food.

Big is #1, he will always be more important than other guys BUT.. I don't wanna be known as his wife/girl/ol lady. I crave my own title. Eva Longoria isn't Tony Parker's wife she's Eva. So many women are proud of being associated with what they put in them when dudes cheating on her... so everybody in your neighborhood is fucking him but you have the "title" so you're special?? I laugh at chicks most men in their 20s are more concerned with establishing their personal title than marrying your stupid ass so keep chasing husbands at 30 you'll still be making 15,000 a year.
My title is short,loud, asshole, goofy, Blogger, DaUglyTruth.. not who I'm fucking.
I explained to Big that I wanna be on his level & have my own title, he respects it. That's way more awesome than a title.. respect :-)

And who are we to judge??

I didn't think the first thing I blogged about would be someone elses marriage but crazier things have happend. Tonight I got sucked into watching Khloe & Lamar's wedding story. Honestly I don't think anyone can act that well. From day one, if both parties are being perfectly honest you can tell if you click. There are so many people who had sex the first night because it seemed right, so why can't they get married in the first month? I know one person who got married to her one night stand. They did date for 2 years before they got married but how wild is that?

I've often said that people are so quick to give away sex but guard their hearts & emotions. People play games to avoid letting anyone know them. It hurts to care. Lamar & Khloe seem to have let down their guards and shown their true emotions. It's really a beautiful thing. After all the celeb marriages that only lasted a week at least these two have been happy for a month... but mostly

Who are we to judge??

I'm personally jealous because I'm not married lol

I've seen you naked... now take your cool off

I'm amazed by how afraid we are to love...

We meaning me & 99.8% of the population.
By love I mean truly love, making yourself open avaiable to anything that may happen. Mya par example... she won't even let me in all the way. She tells me things and right at the tip of the iceberg we start talking about the lames or the co-workers. I'm honest with Mya, possibly too honest but hey that's who I am and how I am. We are afraid of love. I can love you... BUT I'm selfish I won't give you mine I'll buy you one. I don't want to be loved... that's why I get into situations with men who are seemingly incapable of loving. I know my flaws so please don't tell me what's wrong with me I'm working on it.

Real Music, Real Love

Last night I had the pleasure to see Maxwell live in concert:

I took the picture in Sepia because thats the mood I was in. More pix inside..

The Rapper

I'm not good in relationships... I am however one of the best friends you'll ever have or at least that's what the people tell me.

The Story of Sunshine

I'm almost positive that I'm horrible at being in relationships... that's another story. The 1st man I ever loved was Sunshine. He's white.. I'm not. Before college black men didn't tickle my fancy. I've grown to realize it's just New Orleans.

I love Sunshine [still]. Here goes the story. We met when I was 18. His being white never bothered me but it bothered everyone else. I still don't care he's one of my best friends. I can talk to him about anything. He was the first guy I ever met who didn't drink or smoke weed. It was strange. The things that once controlled my life were no longer there because he was really a good kid. I was sober 98% of the time we were together. [I was a bad ass lil kid I started smoking weed when I was 12] He went to college far far away. We started to take different paths in life. Eventually he stopped believing in himself and let "life" ruin him. He's quit 3 different colleges and has no idea what he wants to do with his life. Somewhere in the back of my mind I always assumed we would be together again. Now he has a baby. I can't re-wanna be with him. I can't handle him having no direction, I can't handle the kid & he doesn't know who Frankie Beverly is... that's a BIG problem. There's probably more to the story... I just can't think of it right now...

The reason they call it your first love is because you have to love again :-(

To Love or Be Loved

It's easier to give love than to be loved -Moi

@daUglyTruth be loved sometimes.....many times we put our hearts into someone who doesn't give theirs back (via the homegirl)

Women or most are fast to trust and love men who have done nothing to prove they deserve this love and or trust. I am beyond guilty of this. I'm not gonna let my daughter watch fairy tales because life isn't happily ever after... ever.

Apparently love involves sacrifice and struggles, sometimes pride swallowing. Women have been sucked into the idea that all the sacrifice & pride swallowing is their job. If one more chick tells me she's "trying to work things out", I'm gonna barf. I don't know any guys who try to make it work. How can one person make something work? Women are way too willing to give love...

On the flipside when a woman meets a man who isn't running game on her or telling her things just because he knows she wants to hear them, women get mad. Women don't want a guy whose honest about his feelings. Having someone love you is strange it makes you nervous. Most people don't understand how or why someone else could love them... it's a damn shame

You just got mad?

We tend to die young...


This is Derrion Albert...
Honestly I'm angry... Why is everyone just getting mad? I've been mad forever. I was mad this morning when I found out the lady who was found dead on the side of Canal St was possibly killed by her son. I was mad when I found out that 7 people got shot in one weekend in New Orleans. I was mad when I found out that 2 men killed a 2 year with a baseball bat over $20 and a washing machine. Why have we become so numb to violence? You have to watch someone die to feel bad about it... I have a lump in my throat and I wanna throw up... I didn't even watch the video because that would just make the killers feel "famous".
LOVE!
I'm so tired of talking about problems. Here's the solution we get off our high horses and start talking to kids and telling them that there's more to live. We stop focusing on me and start educating the community. We stop glorifying Scarface & John Gotti. We start teaching the youth that problems can be solved without violence. We teach men that being a man isn't about being a thug or "in dem streets"... We've known the solution for a long time we've just been too selfish to help others...

Death of Love Songs... Moment of Silence

Listening to my Maxwell mix on Pandora, I understand why my mother feels modern music is inadequate. In the course of a modern r&b song, we lock eyes, exchange names and have sex. Maybe theres no song that says it exactly like that but there isn't a need to wait. Nothing is passionate anymore. Listening to Luther Vandross takes you to a distinct place, you can hold it, smell it and taste it. It's not a club, no one can see you, your cool falls off and you are truly vulnerable. There's only one person on your mind there's only one person you can share that moment with... it's passion.

Second thought: The internet ruined everything: music, fore play, reality. Instant gratification is the worst thing anyone can have and the internet helps us all the perpetuate the idea that if we can't find it now we shouldn't have it. I miss quality. I love songs that I can sing in front of anyone. That's good music....

Say Hello..

I'm sitting here thinking about Jay-Z (the real one) and the last album wasn't so horrible but the first 3 times I heard it, I hated it... It's what I do, things have to grow on me. Say hello is probably the only song that stuck out to me the first time I heard it, something about it was familiar. [back to the present] I'm thinking of this song and all of a sudden
I realize Hov is was flawed.

Hov is far from perfect but I blocked all these segments of time from my mind because he's not that guy anymore. I think we just had our first real argument because I told him I remembered. I wanna cry... I'm so soft I cry for everything... I hate me.

Me and Hov smashed before we knew each other well, that was part of the problem. I can't say it but he wasn't Mr. Perfect. He was Mr. Can't get Right. He had many flaws. I've watched him grow, I am so happy to know the man I know now but that boy, BAD BAD BAD BAD. Hov was worse than Jake. He wasn't disrespectful or rude but on my bad scale Jake would be dumped for Hov's actions. I think he's mad because he thinks that all of a sudden I'm gonna change...

[SHITBRAIN if I was willing to tolerate "that" when I met you and had no reason to be attached to you, now that I am attached to you, nothing changes... stop confusing me with them other bitchs you know I hate stereotypical black women and I don't act like them... but I wanna slap you a lil bit for being mad]

Which leads me to my next thought: Is the dick that good?? Or maybe I love you? But maybe just maybe... [beast in dem sheets]

How old are we?

I decided to re-post this because its real. I don't take advice from girls my age all they know is what I know. I talk to grown women and grown women say men don't mature until their mid 30s. Why are people rushing? I need at least $100,000 saved before I talk about marriage!

I've had this conversation a few different ways over the last week. And it always ends the same way I'm 23 not 43. I talk to my mother about the real shit in life no one wants to tell you. And she told me that the more I get to know myself the less I'll like other people. It's true. She also said I won't know myself until I'm 40. DAMN! I can't lie somedays I'm in a big rush to be boo'd up. Not because it honestly appeals to me but because everyone else has a kid or a boyfriend... I don't even have a puppy. Then I remember I never bought my own house/car/television. I play grown with Gail's money. I don't wanna leave my mama to go to a man I gotta be independent for at least a year. Which brings me to....

Focus:

Men: Career, success, bragging rights, a relationship

Women: A man, The rights to talk about him 24/7, the "lifestyle", career, success

The best block quote ever:

There's more to life than having a boyfriend or bitching about a boo. If
women put half of that energy into being successful Lil Wayne would never get
laid and Sheree would have her own mansion. Seriously these girls need to
realize men don't commit in their early 20s and if they do they're either lame,
broke, ugly, small dicked, not worth being in a relationship with, cheating on
you or all of the above - my only friend in high school

Women focus on the wrong thing first. Women could be more successful than men if the focus was there. Its obvious as hell par example I wrote 3 blogs about hov meanwhile he's on twitter talking about getting money and the conditions of society.... my focus is off. I love me some Hov like fat kids love cake. I still want the money, the cars and the clothes before him. I want to reach a certain level of success before I go into full on submission. But women trap the man then start worrying about personal success. I want too much. I don't have kids because I'm selfish. It's me me me me. And depo is the best birth control ever. I know I can't change peoples mind it's just a thought to ponder... We aren't old and we don't know shit... so you rushing to grow up?

High School Sweetheart

This is why you shouldn't get married at 18... Sitting here listening to Green Eyes by E.Badu. Thinking about b.Tony. Before college I didn't really like black guys that much.. or at all. When in New Orleans me & black men don't click.
b.Tony was my first love my heart even, the reason I hate sleeping alone. We had everything in common and I talked to him every week in college even though we knew it would never be the same ( I love the black men). A few months ago he had a baby it made me sad at first then I realized we grew apart. He doesn't want what I want anymore. From the time I was 17 until sometime last year we clicked on everything... movies, sports, politics, religion, getting really drunk for no reason. You name it and we were on the same page. It hurts to lose a part of your life but that's what happens when you get older I guess.

Soft

I almost wanna cry right now. Like he's really upset with me not the curse out kind the bitch I'm dismissing you kind.
Dear Jake,
I'm sorry... I refuse to kiss it and make it better but you still have my Training Day dvd so we're even.
xoxo

You me and Hov (possibly Jake)

I have this calculation that holds true for 95% of women and ME. In college there's 50 guys you give your number to half get past one conversation. 10 get past 2 weeks. And 3 occupy at least a year... My 3 won't go away. I don't run from them but when I'm really really NOT dating anyone they appear... now Hov & b.b.u are definitely my pretend boyfriends. I LOVE THEM. I often question if it's possible to love 2 guys but hell yeah it is. You may be wondering how the boyfriends are pretend... they don't I "go with them". None of us live in the same state anymore so I pretend. Hov is perfect it makes me wanna barf but if he doesn't text me every morning I get sad... I'm soft and I'm dealing with it. B.B.U on the other hand ugh... if he doesn't text me once a month I get sad... he's awful at communication. And Jake... well... umm... It's like getting really really drunk... I know better. I just enjoy hood rat activity. I avoid Jake like the plaque (in person) but I love the conversation it's always crazy.
This is the question I always ponder... is it possible to be 100% single? Because we always have a crush in mind...

Want vs Need

People never want what they need. 8 glasses of water a day? Fruits and veggies? Someone who reciprocates your emotion. Why is it that people always complain about being treated like shit but as soon as someone treats them good... they don't like it. Granted if he's telling you he loves you after 3 days it's game and he's trying to get the panties asap. But if its been a while (whatever a while is to you) and dude is consistent (because most mean aren't) HE CARES. So what do people really want? We all say we want someone who loves us and treats right but when we find ti we dog it..

He got a big EGO

Too bad nothing else is big... Sometimes you can just tell. He walks to freely like nothings dragging him down. He wear those shorts with the lil holes in them (the gym kind or whatever) and there's no outline. Speaking of no outline funniest small dick story I own dudes getting naked in front of me and my friends... and he's in wife beater with no pants or boxers on... NO HANG TIME. To make matters worse my bff who met him on a separate occasion says you know *-!*-*-#-* I say yeah she says "He walk like his dick small"
Men who talk up their sex game always disappoint it's a golden rule... "girl you not ready for this..." NO I'm not I'm ready for you to get the fuck... my fingers bigger than that...

I'm annoying

I text him 20 times a day even if he doesn't respond. I curse him out for existing. I hate life. I hate me. I need to drink some more wine. Can I meet someone who wants to sell me a dream? Cause days like this make me feel like buying.

Public Apology

People say I'm too harsh but I think the exact opposite.. I say what I'm thinking and it isn't always nice oh well. My actions reflect the true essence of me and my actions aren't spiteful. So this is for you Mister....

• I'm sorry I say what I think
• I'm sorry I never slashed your tires
• I'm sorry I don't create public scenes and shame you
• I'm sorry I never lied about anything and kept it 100 while you were keeping it 25
• I'm sorry I'm not the type of chick who gets knocked up
• I'm sorry I think about your future and mine before I do things
• I'm sorry I pray for you every night no matter how rude you are
• I'm sorry I cry so much
• I'm sorry that I'm straight forward while these other hoes are sideways
• I'm sorry I'm not ghetto
• I'm sorry I'm always there when you need me no matter how often you aren't there for me
• I'm sorry I never had the balls to really leave you
• And I'm sorry that people assume I'm a bitch for going off on face book because clearly if you knew me you'd know I talk alotta shit but I don't fk over people. I leave revenge to God.