The Truth

Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit. - Edward R. Murrow

I don't keep many "social" things a secret. I don't feel the need to, if I did it I admit it. It makes life more simple. Besides one of my "friends" will tell one of their friends who will tell someone who doesn't care for me then everyone in my tiny universe will know anyway.
Most times the "rumors" or stories people tell about us only bother us because we don't want people to know our "dirty laundry". NEWSFLASH nothing is a secret if someone else was there. You tell he tells/ she tells. Shit gets out FAST! So why deny it?? Most things only hurt because we can't admit to ourselves who we really are. Me personally I know who I am and I don't lie about her.
Take Roseanne as the greatest example she gave a baby up for adoption before she was famous the kid surfaced, Roseanne said "She's mine", NO SCANDAL! No drama! Most people don't even know it happend because it wasn't dragged out or denied.

“The speed of communications is wondrous to behold. It is also true that speed can multiply the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.”



The truth scares people because they all want to be seen as "angels" funny thing is, if the world knows you a hoe! I learned these last few weeks that I'm not a hoe. I was relieved! I haven't done half the shit these so say "good girls" have NOT saying I'm an angel but my number is waayyyyyy lower than yours... *now they wonder what my number is* haha!!! I was a jaded fool who thought she was the one when she was really one of many... see my flaw ADMITTED! I can't be scandalous cause I refuse to lie... That's the bigger point. Think about it... but you won't change...

To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful. - Edward R. Murrow

Killing yourself

In relationships the single worst thing you can do is be monogamous to someone your just kicking it with. This is my greatest problem, I'm kinda old I think about the consequences of my actions etc.. So I have one smash buddy at a time. It seems logical and sane... BUT it isn't. My mother often says "bettin all ya money on one horse ain't gon win ya shit". It's a quote about sex LMFAO!
Recently I had a conversation with two people I love and respect. The conclusion was that monogamy without "titles" is suicide. I always feel like I'm doing the right thing when obviously I'm dead wrong. I don't believe in lying, but sometimes I honestly don't know the truth. I don't want a boyfriend but then I feel really bad if I have multiple fuck buddies. So I only have one. Which is death.
I'm slowly dying everyday. I've tried to run, I can't. Not to mention, Big haunts me more than the shadows in my room. It seems like the only thing I can do is run.. yet I have no reason to.
In my opinion most people stay in "relationships" because they don't see any other options. I honestly don't see any other opinions.

Glass Houses

Its not often that I let what people say about me bother me, and I wont choose today to start caring past this post! I would rather a person that thinks negatively of me and dont like me straight up say I dont fuck with you. I would rather them never give thoughts about me, Id rather them never look my way. Id rather them not pretend they care or feed into a false friendship.

I have never pretended to be an angel nor will I ever. Everyone around me knows that I have led one of the most fucked up, selfish and more horrible pasts of anyone I know. But I thank God that i experienced everything I did. It has made me a better and far more honest person than most people i know. I dont live behind lies, and i wont fix myself for fake to get anyone in my life to understand me or like me.

With that said I welcome the stones, storms, and wrecking balls that you throw at my glass House. Fuck the table, I place my cards on display, taped to the walls facing out for all to see. I know who I am, and maybe you should too before you go placing judgement...better yet. You need to fix your walls before you go passing judgement. Fake bitches like you havent even worked their way up to glass. You're a pitiful frame with Seran Wrapped walls. You bend and conform to whatever mold you need to fit for the moment. You're thin, weak, shallow, foggy even.

I know far more about you and your fucked up past than you do about mine. Im not God or Jesus Christ, so i leave the Judging to them because they are the only ones you should have to answer to besides your own fucked up conscious. I realize sometimes people are so fucked up that they want to direct attention away from themselves but you should do this away from me and not even call yourself an friend, much less an associate. My past is my past and im paying for everything I did. But what you dont realize is, I dont owe you shit. Didnt fuck with you and you dont know my life so STFU. Shagari Gerard Jackson has never been, and never will be perfect...

Stop building your home with False Bricks and look into your own life, I bet when the storm that is Judgement day comes my foundation stands stronger than yours. Im not even mad at you though. I thank The Lord that he brings stuff like this to light so you know who to distance yourself from. Im a far better friend than any of you may ever know. and if u dont think so at the time you will eventually see that. Just cause i dont tell people what they dont wanna hear doesnt make me horrible. Im just being real. and its funny that all this came about today...someone else thought i was horrible and texted me the following this morning... This from a person i didnt sleep with, didnt sell dreams, didnt sugar coat anything about my life.
See to often people dont understand what the fuck they have in a friend till they piss on em..and i promise you will need me before i ever need you. See im good living in my glass house with my Windex conscious. You can keep puttin up them Seran Wrap walls with them muddy bricks..far more dirt than I. Avatar Shit "I see you!"

I want even unfollow or block ya dirty dingy ass... But ask yaself how can you sit calmly in the Jury when you a convicted ass felon?