The Condom Story

I know he's dumb I've always known he was dumb so why don't I just get someone on my level? I don't know either. The condom story is true and I can't believe it myself.
In college I lived next door to BBU. About 6 weeks after we started dating he came over and asked me for a condom. I gave it to him and he left. Hours went by and we didn't talk so I called him he didn't answer. I cried. I'm thinking wow this dude gets a condom from me to do another girl he's evil. NO wrong. He's dumb. Later my roommate says let's go by the guys next door [not his apartment]. We go and there he is. He's been playing Madden all day. I ask why he hasn't answered the phone. He says it's in his room. He had honestly been next door the entire time. The boy is a jackass. I've known this from the beginning why am I still wasting my time??

But SHE's Serious

Why do women always think you want their man? 9.5 out of 10 times he wants her boo. A male friend once told me I look like sex which pisses me off and flatters me but still. My guy friends are friends because I never wanted to give em the ass. How many girls do you know who friendzone a guy they really want?? If they do it's not for years.
News Flash: Unless he makes 7 figures, has a great smile, the body of a Greek god, no kids, buys be a Range Rover and has a foot long... [not a typo FOOT] I ain't trying to be second place. I don't know many chicks who want someone elses man. Didn't that get played out with those synthetic ponytails. Men cheat because insecure women won't ever attack them for cheating instead they'll try to kill the other woman... Becase women make sense...
Why are hoes so willing to be dick dumb? Dudes don't fight with each other over women so why are you so ready to mess up your good weave over him?? I'm not fighting nobody over nothing. If he wants you, take him, I got a vibrator!

You sell draws?

No but I used to... the glory days! I miss Victoria's Secret, that was the most fun I've ever had minus the end... I wanna free bra... & some lotion lol

Groupie vs Type

Woman are often called groupies and gold diggers based on the type of men they go for. I think that's bullshit. Men go after women with big asses and big boobs. The face of a woman rarely matters to men. They go for a butt ugly chick with nice hips but women get a bad label for wanthing a tall man with muscles. Skinny men make my self esteem lower.
I like big dudes. You gotta be over 6 ft to ride the ride. I've dated athletes, dudes who worked at the mall, dudes who major in engineering or architecture, dudes with no car & alotta other assholes. The only nigga I'm known for is the football player go figure.
The only dude most chicks are known for is the one with the most glitter... thought to ponder. Why is it that men can date the same type of woman over and over yet never be considered groupies?
I have a friend who only fucks with Delta's, he had a Zeta once but every girl he meets is a Delta. I doubt all of them were wearing their colors when he met them but that's what he's drawn to. I know that some women only chase dollar signs but who really wants somebody with nothing going for them? I don't want a dude who makes less than me only because he's supposed to provide and if I'm paying for everything... he ain't providing.
As most people know my daddy's kinda rich, I can't go from daddy to broke nigga. Daddy does everything, I'm spoiled. On the flipside my mother worked 3 jobs my entire life because she said "If you depend on a man whose not your daddy, you gon be sucking dick and swallowing nut for the rest of your life". She was dead serious. My mother doesn't tell jokes. I love being independent and having my own but I also love calling daddy and saying I need....
I think every dude who ever dated me is a short girl groupie or I turned em out. LOL! So the next time I see a guy with a short girl with a big ass I'm gonna say GROUPIE!

In short a groupie maybe a girl who fucked every Kappa at a certain college... but if she likes all short skinny slightly retarded looking dudes she has a type...

But he won't say

Hov: I got the voicemail. A lot of people love you.
Me: But are they YOU?
Hov: shouting
Me: Avoiding the question as usual

And he still hasn't answered. He's so perfect, yet the flaws he shows are ridiculous. Just answer the fuckin question... yes, I love you or no, I don't love you. Either way I don't die... You like me like me... clearly you're reading the blog. Hov loving or not loving me won't change my feelings towards him. He's the bomb diggity... I enjoy diggity. It's realy fucked up, I vent my thoughts & love over the internet while he hides behind clever one liners that never mean shit. I'm so tired of being the predator... Can a bitch be the prey?

The [Fabulous] Life of...

I used to be acquainted with a compulsive liar. I found it hilarious. She'd tell me stories and tell our other friends different versions of the same story. I often wondered if she knew she lied. She told Kimber she had only slept with two people. She told me 5 and some outlandish story about her and her high school soccer coach. I wondered if she said those things to fit in or if she really imagined this "life" she was living. Everybody lies to an extent. Somebody conceal the truth to make it more appealing while others... weave and fabricate elaborate fairy tales for no apparent reason. My mothers last husband was a compulsive liar he was also a con-artist. Compulsive liars really bother me.I try my best to keep it 100 but sometimes I keep it 85 because if I told you everything I was thinking you'd hate me. I won't front the internet helps me to lie... I don't always look cute but I don't put unattractive pictures of myself on the internet I'm just NOT that secure. I don't know how to laugh at myself and while I rarely get embarassed I don't wanna try ever.

Random Truth: I've flunked outta college 3 times and the last 2 times it was because I had a 1.5 GPA 1 letter grade from a 2.0 the most annoying stuff in the world...
No I'm not joking it's that real

Truly kind gesture

Yesterday I went to eat alone in B.R while I was there I saw this woman. I'm sure all my LSU readers have encountered her she's bald and has some disablitiy or mental illness. She's never asked me for money, I've never even seen her begging but she's always around and in some trance like stage. Yesterday, she was having lunch with this middle aged well-dressed white woman. The woman [white lady] didn't seem to want attention, there was no camera crew, she was just doing something kind. I was touched. It's so rare to see a truly kind gesture from someones heart. This woman didn't seem to gain anything from buying this other lady lunch she just did. It makes me wanna do something... asap

Flash by...

I feel as though I'm watching my life flash by me. I don't consider what I've been doing living. Everyday is a replay of the day before. Last Sunday at church I felt like I had a breakthrough about what I wanted and who I should be, yet on Monday nothing changed. By Saturday, I reached a conclusion. I hate being in New Orleans. I love it when I'm not here but I hate it when I am. I am in love with Baton Rouge; the people, the places, the tailgate [lol]. A part of me feels that maybe it's because I'm not ready to grow all the way up & know what? I'm fine with that. I'd rather be happy & childish than coast by exisiting. I want to travel and go on crazy adventures I've never been on and New Orleans feels like a box keeping me from my dreams...

When I moved back home I had a solid list of goals none of which I've completed. I'm angry and disappointed in myself. From this day forward I will live life to my full potential daily. My thoughts, my words & mostly my actions will reflect the person that I truly am. I try my best not to judge but when I am judgemental it's my own disappointment reflected outward...

Yes it is a tragedy that some women have 6 kids by different men but hey I ain't gotta raise so why waste energy talking about her... That's the motto from here on out, if it's not about me or benefiting me it shouldn't be addressed... of course the social issues that affect the world are important but I mean general random gossip-y shit... not happening no more... the end

The next generation

One day we'll look back and wonder what we did all this for...
There's this part of me that wonders if this election meant anything. I haven't volunteered more, I haven't been kinder. I honestly don't know anyone who has changed since the election. I'm tired of living for me. I've been so selfish and greedy and for all the wrong things and reasons. My apathy bothers me, so much so that I want a new job. I want to help people, I love helping people it fulfills me. I can't live being someone who just makes money it doesn't make me happy.

Complex

"If this were a canvas my emotion would bleed onto it in shades of red that got deeper until they became purple & then fade to black." -me just now

On Wednesday I was sick. I didn't have time to daydream or criticize the world, I was only allowed to live in reality it was different. Thursday was a complete blur & Friday I slept as much as I could. Today I did so much I didn't have time to think but when I had one moment to think... Luther Vandross - If only for one night. I thought about him, it hurt. I, me, myself opened the wound, as the blood began to flow no tears came. I didn't feel those emotions I thought I would. *They said his name on espn* I tried not to think of his name.... damn. I'm begging myself not to cry. I've forced myself to answer the one question I wouldn't ask myself... Who are trying to prove your point to?
I'm not ready. I'm not ready to grow up or to make adult decisions or to be something to someone that I can't even be to myself. I'm not strong. I cry too much. I love someone who loves his career more than he could ever love a person. If I had a pen and paper I so wouldn't blog this....