The List

So since every man we encounter these days is gay we're making a list of things at are "suspect"

1. He owns Sex and the City
2. He wears Ed Hardy
3. He always hangs with "his boys" (they not going no where but he doesn't call or text the whole time he's there)
4. He overly accessories his outfits
5. He gets his eyebrows waxed
6. He wears hoop earrings
7. He starts sentences with "I'm not gay but..."
8. He finishes them with "no homo"
9. He sleeps in the same bed with his guy friend and thinks it's no big deal
10. He skips
11. If he's from Monroe, Vegas, D.C or Atlanta
12. He has a mohawk
13. He's a theatre major
14. He knows the name of all the gay clubs (but swears he's never been)
15. He owns a thong
16. He wears colored contacts
17. He's a Kappa or a Sigma
18. He shaves his legs and underarnm (exception swimmers)

I'm annoying

I text him 20 times a day even if he doesn't respond. I curse him out for existing. I hate life. I hate me. I need to drink some more wine. Can I meet someone who wants to sell me a dream? Cause days like this make me feel like buying.

Susan Sharon

It's hard as hell to tell you're "not so cute" friend that she better settle for that loser because she isn't cute enough to get anyone else. I've never dealt with this directly I'm not a fan of the uglies and it's really really hard for me to hang out with someone who I don't find attractive. (male or female) Everyone has days when they feel ugly but what's it like to be butt ass ugly? I wonder about that all the time. I've never been called ugly, unless you count when guys hit on you, you reject them and then they call you ugly. LOL! I don't know why I care so much about being ugly. Beauty fades but personality doesn't mean shit these days anyway. Who knows?

Research

I question people constantly. It's research but then again I'm kinda nosey. So instead of my usual questioning people I'm watching sex and the city. Ever notice how in every episode every one's going through the same thing but in a different way? I think that's clever. The questions I have after watching 10 minutes of this episode.

• Can a woman really look past a small peen? (I can't)
• Is dirty talk ok? And if so is there a boundary? (I'm not gonna call you daddy and don't ask me shit)
• Sidebar if you have to ask if it was good IT WASN'T!
• How long should you be in a relationship before you go to counseling?

Go play in the rain or something

1. Somebody in the apple store smells like ass
2. How come men don't bathe?
3. I will continue to ask this question
4. If a woman smells bad she's the worst person ever
5. I can only think of one super smell bad girl
6. But I often ask did this nigga play in shit today?
7. I'm at the apple store
8. I gotta pee NOW
9. I wish I had a live
10. These motherfuckas in here playing the barney song over and over
11. I might kill em
12. The end pee is really important

Confession #1: I let a retard sell me a dream

2 maybe 3 years ago I met this guy. He was so cute. I don't ever go for cute. But something about him drew me in. Well after the first conversation I realized he was kinda slow. Not a full retard but probably a child of incest or something. You know me... I only live once so why not. Dude told me the strangest stuff. I don't even think he formulated sentences it was just random word mumbling. I thought he was young.. then I thought he was strange then I realized he was retarded. But I liked the idea of "us". (he had pretty peen) LOL! Anyway I thought I'd have a dream life with the retard and get over the fact that he was dumb as fuck. That didn't happen. Now I think he's gay... not because he's a retard because he's an Ed Hardy fan.

The Real Rich Kids

I had the pleasure of growing up around rich kids even though I'm not rich. Poor nah but rich not that either. Anyway the poor kids always tried to make the rich kids feel bad about their money. That is hilarious. I know so many rich kids who try to "keep it real" and down play their educations to fit in with people who have so much less than them mentally and financially. Why is being bourgeois a bad thing? Isn't the reason all the hood hoes have "goach" purses because they aspire to be bourgeois? I'd rather be the rich kid than a broke bitch pretending with the words spelled wrong!

Open your mouth wider

They say a closed mouth don't get fed. So open your mouth wider. I guess it's go off on women day for me but seriously. How can you be thirsty for men & their money but not for personal success? It gets under my skin. Women are quick to claim their independence while trying to suck a nigga dry. I guess watching the real housewives annoyed me. Sheree said people are intimidated by her success. "She got some NFL dick and had 2 kids" That's success?? Every bitch in the hood can trap a man. Does she have a degree? Has she ever had a career? Is she skilled in some way? All these hoes know how to do is talk about success yet they don't produce anything successful. Stop being thirsty and get your own. Open up and get what's important you dumb bitches!

Stories of grown ass women

When I say grown I mean 30 and up.
So people always tell me stories and I listen. What you are about to hear is completely true, but as always I don't name names.

• Grown ass woman #1: 40 yrs old mother of 2. And apparently addicted to sex LOL! I have come to the conclusion that some women have logic outside their vag and others don't. None the less she is what I refer to as dick dumb. Long story short she moved a man into her house after 2 weeks of knowing him. If someone in their 20s did this I would talk about them like a dog this woman is old enough to be my mother and she's that irrational.
• Grown ass woman #2: 55 yrs old 2 kids. SEX ADDICT. She has sex 3 times a day with her 25 yr old boyfriend that most people assume is using her to get a green card. It gets worse she thinks because he pays her cable bill he's taking care of her.

And I'm dead serious. Having low standards isn't just a 20 something thing. I hope these brief snippets of grown ass women help young ass women to make wiser choices. I will NOT be ruled by my vag! LOL

Bitch Rules

I am not perfect nor will I profess to be or try. Last night Jai & I composed these things called bitch rules. As there is man law there should be bitch rules.

1. Fake it til you make it applies to goals believe you have the things you desire and they will come. That does not mean you take pictures of other peoples stuff and claim it's yours online.
2. Make your word your bond. If you can't keep your word what can you keep?
3. Dont bad mouth your friends. If they're cool enough to live with apparently you like the same shit so she can't be a hoe if you're not one!
4. Homies over hoes! Plain and simple a dude will runaway from you when his boys call so the same rules apply. Stop ditching your friends for dick he wouldn't do it for you.
5. If you know you're lying write it down. Liars always forget what they lie about.
6. Stop calling your friends for relationship advice. You're going to go back to him.
7. Also stop telling your friends all your boo's flaws because that makes us HATE him.
8. Take your own damn advice. (This applies to me the most)
9. Just because a famous person wore doesn't mean you can.
10. Stop complaining about things you refuse to change. You know what's wrong you know how to solve it so stop being lazy.
11. Stop being dick dumb. (Stories of grown ass woman next blog post)
12. Focus on the future don't be so near sighted that you don't realize you have like 45 years of life left.
13. Be the best that you can daily, while slacking is the status quo why be average at anything.
14. Stop being ashamed of your dreams they can't come true until you profess them.
15. And please stop letting these broke niggas sell you dreams he can't buy a cardboard box but he's gonna take care of you.

Now you're ugly real ugly

http://bit.ly/bgz5K

Michael Crabtree is a jackass. And now he looks real dumb to me. No team is gonna work with him now. He wasn't the first WR selected because nobody wanted to deal with his bitch ass attitude... 20 million his ass ain't have a million before some people just too greedy. I'm officially un-crushing on Mr.Crabtree bitchmade men made me wanna barf.

I never thought I'd say this

I have fallen victim to men who lie on their peen... I think every woman has at least once. Today I got a message and as always I copy and paste:

"blog abt chics that lie on there clit bcuase thats the new trend from dudes lying on there dick...chic lied on her clit bout me ma"

Now while that is in no way correct English. And that's my smart friend. Apparently chicks lie on their clits these days LOL. I heard about this once when I was living with the boys. Why would women lie about sex? I'm so confused. Alot of women say it was bad when it wasn't bad because they don't like him. Or women say I never did nothing with him, then the tape comes out (Mariah Carey) LOL! This post is to be continued because fuck face didn't tell me the whole story yet

Prude men

I hate prude men. I know several men who feel that men can do things women can't. I'm so tired of double standards. If women shouldn't men shouldn't. Then the cheating argument. You think it doesn't hurt women's pride when men cheat. You think our friends don't look at us differently. You think we don't sit around wondering what was so bad about us that made you wanna get with her. The psychological consequences of cheating fuck over women way worse. Prude men bother me. It's just like wtf.

I thought I was going insane

Apparently hackers got into twitter and facebook thats why I couldn't log onto anything
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_tec_twitter_outage

You suck at friendship

I'm bored well not bored just not interested in what I'm doing... and where are my chat buddies? DEAD?? People will always give you context clues... I'm not classy or tactful 24/7 because well... I wasn't raised like that. I'm gutter... I say what I feel all the time and when I die the last thing anyone would ever say is that Trevine was fake.. crazy YES, over the tope YES, gaudy Only on Halloween! But fake never. If I don't trust you I can't talk to you. And some people are looking mighty suspect. The end

What do you expect

In a nation that was built on violence and that uses violence to solve every problem what do you expect civilians to do. Follow the great "European" example. Conquer what rightfully belongs to others and if they don't surrender go to war. I always get pissed off with CNN and those other news networks when they say they don't understand all the violence in this country. The mafia is the most glorified criminal enterprise in the world and you ask why. Seriously. Am I the only person who sees it for what it really is? It's perfectly ok to go to another country and kill people because they don't have a democracy, but you can't understand why people in this country are violent. Taking personal responsibility for the reckless decisions America's made since it's birth is way too hard so blame rap... LMAO John Gotti listened to Sinatra.

Pet peeves

1. People who talk like they have spit lodged in their throats
2. People who get too close and talk on you
3. When women say broke my virgin (Toya)
4. The glorification of violence
5. Women who have 5 kids and swear it's an accident (we give away free birth control)
6. Guys who try to damn hard
7. Women who really want you to be impressed by them par example those lame hoes who take pictures of everything in their house.... for what
8. Long chains... I know you bought it from the flea market those diamonds aren't real
9. People who talk shit about their "best friends"
10. People who fuck clean over friendships and get mad when you don't have their back
11. Public breast feeding

Ok thats all for now.. cause I said so

Bucket list

1. Swim with dolphins
2. Rock real hair for a year (in my twenties)
3. Go out in Vegas with a bunch of my friend girls
4. Buy Saints & Hornets season tickets
5. Jump out of a plane
6. Pose for Playboy (somedays I wanna somedays I don't)
7. Volunteer at soup kitchen
8. Work with Dove's campaign for real beauty
9. Pay full price for something really pointless (I never pay full price for anything)
10. Use a man for his money (I've never done it)

Thats not all but I don't know what else yet

Public Apology

People say I'm too harsh but I think the exact opposite.. I say what I'm thinking and it isn't always nice oh well. My actions reflect the true essence of me and my actions aren't spiteful. So this is for you Mister....

• I'm sorry I say what I think
• I'm sorry I never slashed your tires
• I'm sorry I don't create public scenes and shame you
• I'm sorry I never lied about anything and kept it 100 while you were keeping it 25
• I'm sorry I'm not the type of chick who gets knocked up
• I'm sorry I think about your future and mine before I do things
• I'm sorry I pray for you every night no matter how rude you are
• I'm sorry I cry so much
• I'm sorry that I'm straight forward while these other hoes are sideways
• I'm sorry I'm not ghetto
• I'm sorry I'm always there when you need me no matter how often you aren't there for me
• I'm sorry I never had the balls to really leave you
• And I'm sorry that people assume I'm a bitch for going off on face book because clearly if you knew me you'd know I talk alotta shit but I don't fk over people. I leave revenge to God.

Obsession

I love Kim! She's me but old and plastic. We have the same favorite books and shoe size. And the same height. She weighs less than me right now but I'm working on it. And she's the shit.. and she also loves large dark men LMAO... Also I could listen to a whole Kim cd... even though I have bad bad a.d.d

Just twitter it'll go away

Ever had a crush on someone? A celeb a normal person anybody.
Twitter them. Follow them for 48 hours

1. Slim thugg seems more slow than thug
2. Tila Tequila is way more annoying than she seems on tv
3. Tyra is fuckin weird but I knew that
4. Nene types as dumb as she sounds
5. Bow Wow wants people to think about him
6. Chris Brown is really afraid to use the wrong words
7. Lauren London just quotes stuff.?? She's gorgeous o well
8. This guy I had a crush on gets wacker by the day
9. That bitch ass ex yeah his dumbness is re-enforced every half hour
10. This guy i never had a crush on tries to damn hard all the time
11. Internet thuggin?? For real (s.a.d = suckAdick)

You take me for granted b.c I let you

First of all you're a bitch (if anything is spelled wrong doesn't matter dumb ass will understand)

1. Second of all I'm the only person that ever loved you for you
2. Third of all some ghetto bitch is gonna trap you and I'm gonna laugh
3. Fourthly I realize I'm numbering this and typing numbers
4. Fiiifffff I don't do guys with kids... so if you think you'll have me "after yo fuck up" you're dreaming
5. I'm not med school and you aren't as wack as Derwin but still
6. I stopped saying numbers that was an accident
7. I could have a kid by now if I was dirty bitch who didn't use birth control
8. Better yet I could 4 one for every year LMAO
9. I'm adorable and I'm smart and I can spell DO
10. I hate you right now
11. I hope you break ya legs and you can never play football again (no take backs)
12. Actually I've felt that way for a long time even before I was mad
13. I hope you read this
14. This is what I do when I get mad I wish bodily harm on people
15. Maybe I am crazy but oh well
16. Ok now all of a sudden I'm being logical again
17. Gimme a cigarette my nerves BAD
18. I need a laptop
19. My daddy is wack *(this month)
20. I love that big ugly dumb ass no matter how many things he spells wrong
21. Ginfer said I'm *****lexic that means I can make them b.s text messages into normal people English
22. You take me for granted because I let you
23. But one day... trust me on this
24. One day I'm gonna get so sick of you that you will be dead to me
25. And once you die I wouldn't piss on you for fun LOL
26. The end bioootch

I read gossip sites

• I haven't watched Tiny and Toya since the second episode.
• I think Michael Jackson's funeral messed over them.
• Eddie Winslow put super head on full blast lmao as if she could be blasted more
• Chris Brown took a picture with Niki Minja
• I wonder if him and Amber Rose and Niki are all "special friends"
• He had on a herringbone chain... lmao
• I saw the worst picture of Beyonce today
• All that damn make up
• Did you see Lisa Turtle yesterday? It was awful

Sculpt that bitch

It's a breast feeding statue of Angelina Jolie. Is this not weird? I just had to post it. Most entertaining thing I've seen all day.

Next time I'm having sex I'll be sure to stop and text you (princess Trevine)

• That's an actual text minus princess Trevine
• Who likes grape flavored anything?
• Good weave can make anybody cute
• So tired of people telling me they in love
• Buy a house then tell me about love
• I hope William Jefferson gets life in prison
• I hope everybody who promised to do right in elected office and didn't gets life in prison
• You're not a model you're a half neekid hoe on a runway
• Do those low budget models even get paid
• At least video girls get $50 for their trouble
• How come people forget all the bad stuff they do?
• I really feel like karma is God saying "for real... so you think I aint see that"
• I've realized that trying to prove points to people is pointless
• I hope Chris Brown is really done with Rihanna (b.c I want him)
• Why do women lie and say they aren't doing things you know for a fact they are doing?
• I'm way to honest to hang with "the stunters"
• But I won't hate on you that's tacky

But they serious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLUvBnT69ok

I'm really disgusted by ignorance. Why "thug life" still appeals to men is beyond me. And keeping it real died when Dave Chappelle said it. I'm really annoyed. I think education is key in every situation. Because if you knew better you'd do better. And alot of these people sadly don't know better. That's why it bothers me.

Bits & pieces

This morning Nene Leakes was on Tom Joyner's morning show...

It was hilarious. She said of course I'm homeless I sleep under a bridge on my Gucci bag. She also said she went from 15,000 sq ft. to 10,000 sq ft. but the people talking about her don't have 800 sq ft. so why are they worried... lmao. She also said she never choked Kim because she doesn't believe in domestic violence... I don't think fighting your ex friend is considered domestic violence lol. I wish I had paid more attention but that's all I remember can't wait to see the show tomorrow!

Beeeees

I'm so afraid of bees. I've been stung once in my life and I nearly died. Anyway last night my dream was all kinda wild but the part that was the worst was the bees that kept trying to bite me then... They went in my pants. They was trying to bite me on my butt. I was so scared. I woke up sweating. In another part of my dream I was at church and the men weren't singing.. that was really a dream lol.
Why do bees wanna bite my ass crack?? LOL

but they ARE serious

She said something to the effect of "She really doesn't think she can get anyone better he can get her in clubs for free".... F*ckin for status?? I don't really know how I feel about women who chase men with "status". I'm not talking athletes or musicians. I'm talking men who own clubs or manage clubs... party promoters even. I blame near sighted-ness. I honestly can't see past next week. So I assume these chicks can't look past "the party years". Who really wants to settle down with someone they know is fucking 8 other people. Not saying all these guys are horrible but the ones I've encountered are gross. Then most of those men are old and married. I am totally grossed out by the idea that some young ladies bone married men. I'm not perfect but damn... do we just not respect anything anymore? Don't get it twisted I'm not defending women who fuck athletes and musicians I'm just saying the potential pay off is obvious. The gym teacher at Prep said "if you're gonna be a hoe be the best damn hoe possible." I'd rather be a million dollar hoe and than a payday loan hoe. If you're gonna be skilled and talented aim high hoe. That's why I don't like it because its low budget... club owners and such might not even make 6 figures... get ya hoe game up... LMAO

Me ME MEEEEEE

Someone great said if you could take all the time and engery you wasted on others and put it back into yourself, how great would you be? I would be beyond fantastic. I'd be the greatest most awesome-est. Giving is good. Being nice is good but sometimes you don't give yourself the saem attention you give others. If I wasn't so worried about that nigga I mighta be sober more often. If I didn't care about what them hoes thought of me I probably wouldn't have wasted time doing all that mean shit to them. Sidebar God takes that revenge stuff seriously... don't even worry with it... God's gonna get em. God scares me straight up. Revenge is wild... I'm only focusing on me... me me me

People dis agree with me

1. Chinese food is awesome


2. Women lie better than men hence us acting a ass often


3. I'm on line 246 of this damn spread sheet


4. All the old people I talk to say it's a waste of time to get commited "at my age"


5. Ladies don't trust me


6. Go interview a divorced woman


7. I'm so ready for those real housewives


8. I'm still starving


9. Can I eat now?


10. Come baby light my fire everything you drop is so tired... I MISS LAURYN HILL


11. Just watched the trailer for "Good Hair"


12. To quote Lu "I didn't know Lauren London had a weave"


13. So Just cause she's half white she can't have weave


14. Tia had all kinda weave on the Game


15. I think it's tv fault that we think we should be in relationships right now


16. I'm so exhausted.


17. Work makes my brain hurt


18. And I'm hungry

Astrology my ass

I don't believe in astrology and I'm really tired of people trying to convince me its real... today the president was born, also my old boss and this girl I went to high school with and this dude with a mo hawk. All of these people are different. I can't think of anything they have in common but this day. If I could jump on astrology like Rick James did to Eddie Murphy's sofa I would. I think Elizabeth Taylor was born on my birthday I ain't nothing like that bitch. Also my friend's friend has my birthday and she dumb. November 23 par example my cousin, hanna montana, bbu and somebody else I can't think of... They all crazy but that has nothing to do with that day. LMAO. Astrology has never helped anyone to do anything so it's existence is pointless you can't change my mind. If you disagree...Guess who bought this site? not you bitch. I say what I want

It can't happen to me

In high school girls who weren't really friends with me told me stuff they didn't wanna tell their "friends". One girl got an std the first time she had sex. I felt sorry for her. But in the back of my mind I said "that's never gonna happen to me". Why doI think I'm super woman? Why does anyone think that they can't get "it"? Bad things happen to good people who make foolish decisions. I don't think before I act all the time but I should. Being reckless isn't cool but for some reason it's fashion these days.

I'm dead serious

1. You probably have a crush on me
2. I think you're gross
3. In reference to people in general I speak of the rule and not the exceptions
4. Some hoes can turn into housewives but most get discreet with the hoe'n
5. I love my friends but I swear hoes be getting married
6. HOES not polite women
7. I hate lame niggas with a passion
8. They got these wack ass dudes who go to Southern too bad I don't remember their names I'd put em on blast
9. See thats how much I give a fuck I can't remember names
10. Why ugly niggas so pityful
11. If a girl doesn't wanna give you her number it's because you're fuckin wack
12. It's the president's birthday
13. I might bang you but I won't kiss you
14. People eat ass
15. Condoms cover stuff
16. So like... they don't have mouth condoms and I don't trust you
17. Then Kee said AIDS Trev
18. Then I said well... aids or shit in ya mouth
19. I don't like poop
20. Life I wonder will it take me under

Not so blind item

This probably applies to a over 100 people I can think of but still here's the story:

There's this girl I don't know well and this guy I dont' know well either. This weekend I found out that they are a couple... in a relationship I mean. I've never seen him with her but I have seen him with "every girl in the world". She ain't a saint from what I've seen either she hangs with guys (not saying she cheats). My thought from this and every other situation I hear about, know about and have been in is: why are wasting our time? Why are we in our early 20s wasting time claiming people we're clearly fucking over? And I'm tired of people making bullshit ass excuses. Just be single. In the end both people wind up performing the same action yet blaming the other person for it. Face it we aren't mature enough yet. We still wanna fuck around. And while there is that one person you want in your corner forever, if you love it let bitch fly. I doubt that right now anyone is fully commited. Too many other interesting people out there. So why are we fronting? I mean ya'll because I'm not.

Monday- blah day

Today is one of those days when you ask why didn't I just call in sick?

1. Why do women constantly feel the need to reward mens bad behavior?
2. Low self esteem bitchs
3. Everybody wants a "good person" but they keep going for what's bad
4. I'm tired of people I'm gonna start talking to animals
5. He looks cheesy like Chester Cheeto
6. I have too many crushes right now
7. I'm lying 2 maybe 3
8. I really want cake
9. I forgot I stole cookies from the chinese buffet
10. Tomorrow should be more interesting today just blew
11. Why is it so hard to make new male friends?
12. Girls always wanna be my friend I hate girls
13. I want friend dudes lol
14. I have gas good bye world

But I'm dumb

This woman at work drives me.. I taught her to use google and she insults me. She's dumb as hell she called the i.t guy to ask how to put something in bold but I'm dumb. I realize that I'm not 5 foot and I sound like a chipmunk sometimes but I'm not dumb. I hate being insulted. I'm young... that means I can grasp concepts better than women in their 50s but they don't get that... bitches

Some food is only for thought

Why do we always claim we want good things? Everytime I meet a good guy I find his flaw.. Most good guys are ugly lame or weak. I know some guys who seem good but will f over you the first chance they get. In a world of internet and tivo do we really know how to wait anymore? We grew up watching tv. On sex in the city the meet the guy and bang the same episode that's an hour tops. We lost our desire to wait for things we get movies on bootleg because we can't wait. We found the cd on the internet because we can't wait... So clearly in the game of love it would be no different..
Instant gratification sucks
I'm waiting for something

If its not Tastee it's not a donut

• I'm still blown away by the text that was numbered
  
• I'm nosey
  
• But I really don't give a eff about it that much
  
• I've decided that everything I do is logical
  
• Other people (not so much)
  
• I really hate it when people call me for dumb shit
  
• I don't have cable stop telling me to watch stuff
• And why do people think I care about all this random useless ness
• Do I come across as someone who cares?

Long day

• I can't do anything slow
• This morning I drove the company truck...
• I was all the way up on the steering wheel
• I really can't think of anything to talk about
• I hope William Jefferson goes to jail
• He never did anything to help New Orleans
• I'm starving
• My boss told me I was driving too slow
• I'm 4'8 driving a damn silverado
• Yeah I might be nervous