TRAFFIC

So i often ride alone...freestyling to songs i like. When I started spitting about what i thought was the most random shit ever. But it just kept coming and coming so i realized it was because i was really feeling what i was saying. Luckily i record my randomness on my iPhone. I wont release the freestyle Just yet but it inspired this writing.

Traffic

The more I think about it emotions and being involved with someone is Rush Hour, Lunch Hour Traffic. The heart is the most disfuncitonal traffic light there is. Our brains never do what the law of our better judgement says we should do when we’re deep in this traffic or we’re in a hurry to get where we need to be.

The people you give the geen light are either to eager to blow through the intersection, or they are hesitant. Hesitant because theyre busy with another song in their head, or they are textng, tweeting or both in traffic. Why do you have to savagely Honk your horn at some people for them to notice that the lights green, the lain is clear, traffic gone and you want them to proceed. You don’t have to completely pay attention to be aware that shit is moving.. Peripheral senses should be enough…yet we get lost…

Give the same person a yellow light to take things slow and they are impatient. They want to tear through at a breakneck speed and get frustrated at having to make a last minute decision. Do I blow the light or do I hit the brakes. Hasty decisions are often to blame for the brutal wrecks that occur between the hearts and minds of people.

Redlights, we’ve all ran them. We’ve all broken rules we didn’t want to. How do you tell people to respect your rules, but you let them break them sometimes. How is one to know when you are serious about them. Some say you cant Turn right on Red. But if every light you’ve approached lets you turn right on red, who is this 1 light to tell me I cant. Lets say you even train yourself to respect the rules of this light. Theres going to be a time where u tell the person at the light to turn red. We all break are own rules. Face it there aren’t any rules When you are playing in Traffic of Human emotions.. No test, No book can prepare you for every condtion you are going to face on the road.

The heart is the most powerful muscle we have but its powered by the human mid… Its thoughts that push us to love, push us to hate, push us to frustration, push us to happiness. So the mind is the more powerful than the heart to me…But no matter how powerful the mind is you cant use its strength to stop thinking about something that the heart wants so much. Don’t let anyone be a Cop, Sheriff or StateTrooper and change ur driving habits when it comes to your heart. Only you know whats good for you, But Drive Carefully.

I don't read fiction that's how chicks get sold dreams!

1. I thought that picture was cool and I probably won't ever have a reason to use it.
2. That new law in Arizona pisses me off all minorities should just boycott Arizona and the racist can have it.
3. The women on SATC are in their 50s now... it's officially over
4. I want to write the next great women's tv craze
5. I watch it in my mind daily
6. Gretchen is awesome, in the show way cooler than Samantha Jones and the story lines are more realistic.
7. It will be the first show about friends of different races NO tokens.
8. So it's based on my life kinda.
9. I think people are starting to realize the president is a politician.. we wanted him to be so much more... welp! He's still sexy!
10. I'm really disappointed that being a "real" housewife is an expectation women have.
11. I'd rather be Stacey Dash than a woman who chases men...SUCCESS!
12. Most women want relationships then success I want success first!
13. Notice ONE thing: the women men talk about the most are successful, there's a million man chasing sluts out there... what makes you different??
14. You NEVER hear men say I need a good women, why because women chase men these days!
15. Me personally I'll die single before I start begging for men like some of these dumb sluts.
16. I read a blog this week that said "Men should only pursue dimes, women should settle. (verysmartbrothas.com) it's the most honest reflection of everything I've been saying since forever BUT women don't feel me because I don't conform to their desire to belong to a man.
17. If a man wants to marry you, he gon marry you.
18. If a man wants to keep you around he gon keep you around, until he finds something better!
19. Men have the upper hand in todays society well black men... women will do anything to have a man... and what do men do??
20. ME personally I will marry a vibrator before I settle!! BUT I'M ME NOT YOU!
21. If you wanna date a man who fucks over you just so you can say you're #1 DO THAT!!
22. I won't judge you I just can't do it.
23. Hoes are stupid they don't know how to agree to disagree so they think you're hating NO JACKASS I'M GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN!!
24. We'll see where everyones at when we're 30!
25. I don't read fairy tales, and I don't buy dreams!

Autobiography: Chapter 1

If my life ever becomes a book it has to start with this...
My grandfather (fraternal) was the pastor at my grandmothers (maternal) church, his only son and her youngest daughter began dating. One year later, she got pregnant, welcome ME! My fathers side being the "good" God living Christians they are rejected my mother and said she wasn't good enough for my father. She didn't go to college. My mother's mother INSISTED they get married. My mother politely refused. (I'm lying it was a fight). Soon after my fathers parents arranged his current marriage to my step mother.
My fathers side of the family didn't treat me like a bastard until my brother was born. Then when my sister was born, I was officially unimportant. Most of my life I've tried to fit in somewhere in my family. It's been an impossible task. The discomfort that comes from people saying "that's his daughter" is something NO one can ever understand. And in the "church" world the pastor's sons bastard child is always a leper. And when the pastors son becomes a pastor, that child becomes the "I haven't always been perfect sermon". I can't make you understand.
Before Rev died, when he still had his mind, he apologized for my life. He told me that no matter what happened he never disowned me and he always encouraged my father to treat me like the rest of the kids. I forgave him. We were at peace. The last time I saw him I told him that I loved him, those were my last words to him. I'm at peace.