Backwards day

Today felt strange from the time I woke up until now... mostly now
Today I didn't talk to Hov once. I'm worried. But I figure he's with his friends [or a lady] dude is fly I know he's not "waiting" on me. Today I talked to b.b.u on the phone (I don't really like talking on the phone.)
I used to love to talk on the phone then I realized texting meant I could multi task. Talking on the phone requires devoting all your attention to that person (for me at least) because if you're watching television or reading you miss the conversation. If I call you feel lucky it means I want to devote my attention to you. Another reason I don't talk on the phone I always get off subject and never finish the damn story just like NOW.
Back to the point.. He called me. My heart got all butterfly-ish. I smiled from ear to ear and when he said my name I could remember the way his mouth looked during every syllable. I miss him alot. He's 90% of my fantasy thoughts. No one understands us hell I don't understand us but I love that dude flaws and all. For some strange reason I don't think he's got another girl maybe I'm naive.While I have another pretend relationship and love for someone else #1 is #1 and nobody gets that twisted ever.
Today Mr. Can't get right did something perfectly and Mr. Perfect dropped the ball....
Strange day.....

Triple Booked

I love my homegirls. It's happened to everyone at a certain point. For me I go home and everybody is only in town for a few days. Mostly it's friend girls not boos. If all 3 of my boos were in town at once I'd ignore Jake (that's normal). Then I'd go back and forth about whose more important.... most times it's Hov.

Conversation as followed:

Gretchen: So I'm triple booked
Me: Well it doesn't matter if you not giving em all the puss
Gretchen: Them niggas know I'm not fuckin dem
Me: Yeah whatever
Gretchen: I'm really not having no sex tonight
Me: That's that bullshit
Gretchen: Well there's a tiny weeny innie weenie chance I might have sex with....
Me: Uh huh
After I told her she'd be the subject of my blog
Gretchen: Oh nooo bitch

Saturday Tibits

He's a definitely gay random text message edition:
Toni: Tom just called himself a socialite I'm in mourning because I have clearly been fucking a fag (LOL no really I laughed)

Convo with the homeboy:
Man, I just told everything she wanted to hear and she was trying to fuck after she "hated me" and "cried all night". Hoes believe anything.

Why do women think a half assed apology after 3 days of him ignoring/not calling them constitutes giving a man the puss? Why do women always think the puss is a revenge mechanism par example Erykah Badu - Green Eyes "Just make love to me, Just one more time and then you'll see..." NEWS FLASH: Giving a man puss he barely worked for isn't revenge it's a gift. Furthermore why are women in their early 20s so eager to believe anything? I have photographic memory if I said he was with another chick he was.

Wait...

I am not a prideful soul so it's more than easy for me to admit when I'm wrong. I hate people who need to tell me what they are over and over e.g miss fine hips and Mr. I get money (broke ass). Just live life and if the compliments come so be it. I'm the ugliest person in my family those women are the business clearly I know my role when it comes to them. And maybe my definition of average wasn't as clear as I'd hoped it was. Average is a way of life, its boring it's dull its ugly on purpose. I'm done defending myself to the man who won't send me dick pix. If you're so great show me the goods.... yes you sir LOL!

Mid-day convo

I love my friends for this reason... mid day convo! Please feel free to email me random ass convo I love it!

We've been friends for a while now so I wonder:

Me: does ur dick have a curve in it
Homeboy: SLANTED MA
my dick retawwwded.....da dumbway lol
Me: I'm just nosey I don't wanna see
unless it's somethin u could brag on in which case hey dick pix!
Homebody: WOW

Dick by area code LOL:
Lynn: when u comin to town
Toni: no clue girl i got some top 3 sex last night! comment on that
his peen got a curve to it lol, first time seeing that
Lynn: i've seen curves 1 was a bit too much the other was just nice
am I posta be jealous cause u finally gettin good dick I bn gettin it LMAO
Toni:what???!!!! who??
wtf you keeping secrets now!
Lynn: I told u abt my 5 orgasms
I mean been as in all the yrs of my college life
u know i get laid zero these days
Toni: oh lol well im not used to good sex from the 318, all my good d has come from 225, 985, and 504 another reason i love the south
Lynn: I'mma need u to explore some outta state area codes 832 is beastly
Toni: lol im scared to go out of state, i feel as long as i keep it local im not that much of a slut
the minute i cross state lines i feel like im going to just be gone forever. no coming back
Lynn: LOL bitch what?
In your whole college career u never had outta state dick?
Toni: yeah but it wasn't good, it was from sugarland, tx
i said all my GOOD d comes from south la
and i had some s. carolina d but he sucked too.
Lynn: ..... my 305 dick is a beast
Toni: i think im biased
Lynn: I think Houston is amazing
Toni: well they must be from different neigborhoods bc mine sucked

*names are always changed and I am always ME lol!

Average Girls

I hate average bitchs with a passion. Every time I get dumped the next chick is average as hell. Men make NO fuckin sense. Politicians par example, they marry these boring ass button up "perfect mother" women and cheat on them with fun exciting women. I don't know about anyone else but I think cheating SUCKS and it shouldn't be done. It's really men's fault. Your dick doesn't want granny panties and pubic hair but your fucked up "male logic" tells you thats what a "good mother" has. Ever wonder why the divorce rate is so high? Because your fucked up man logic is wrong.
I've been told that "you pretty bitchs" want a man to give you the world and them regular hoes are nicer. It's not my fault my genes made me more likely to get hit on it's also not my fault that their genes and lack of self worth made them a lil bit freakier than me. So why does pretty always have to mean something bad? And why these average hoes always get the good boos?
What is so appealing about an average bitch? Do you think you're the best thing an average bitch can get so she won't leave you? Is it a ploy to stroke the male ego?
I figured it out... You want average bitchs because I (& my fellow pretties) am fly enough to get the fuck...

Just STOP

Some women see persistence as a sign of determination, which is true to an extent persistence in getting goals accomplished is determination. Persistence in approaching women is a sign of desperation. Women are simple as hell if we're 1/4 interested men will know. BUT if we ignore every advance you make STOP. We don't want you. You fall into the Mr. Never gonna get the puss category...
Here's the story.. every time I comment on any one's facebook status someone friend request me. Well this same guy has friend requested me like 10 times. I don't know him and he creeps me out. My friend girl said he's a nice kid so this 10th time I add him. He poked me... I don't care if it was a friendly gesture... Lil boy I don't know you. JUST STOP. I'm normally way more rude than this but today I feel like dump. And since you're younger than me let me give you a word of advice women like men who aren't too clingy so back back :-)

I'm sorry Bitch

We all know I judge women glad that's clear.
I have a facebook "friend" who is ugly as hell but constantly talks about how fly she is. I don't think I'm Halle Berry but men love me so I know I'm not ugly. I just ponder why the ugliest lil jigga-boos always refer to themselves as fine and sexy and cutie pie. I don't call myself Ms. Sexy. Why do hood hoes always want to refer to themselves as Miss [include derogatory term]. That's pointless.
You don't see Beyonce calling herself Ms. Fine hips or some shit. Beyonce is cute but I don't crush on her.
Ignorant women get under my skin. Please stop taking pictures of all the items in your house. I am not impressed.

The man vs. The boy

I'm softer than kleenex. Last night I cried. Good thing Hov is amazing. I owe him. I should cook him dinner or something. Whatever I do it'll be good. I still can't believe I cried that much. I'm a soft tearful loser.
The difference between Hov and B.B.U is age mostly well maturity really. Because when I met Hov he was b's age and he had the same inconsistent habits. He was late for everything. He said he'd be there in 5 minutes and never showed up. Then Hov grew up and the man is perfect. So am I supposed to wait for B to grow up? I feel like I've been waiting forever for that. In every situation I'm always giving more than I'm getting. I think it's my nature. I'm always willing to give 60 and get 40. I'm about to cry right now.

The reason I don't use myspace

I'm at the library yeah my daddy sucks ass right now... who said they were buying me a laptop this weekend? Who didn't? He gets paid tomorrow he knows I'm gonna blow him up. If daddy was poor it would be different but dude makes over 6 figs.
Anyway all this hood ass kids are at the library speaking incorrect English talking about their myspace pages. Don't get me wrong I use slang way too much but my grammar isn't horrible. Myspace is for girls who wear thin flip flops and have Coach purses with the G's. It's too much. A facebook page is simple it doesn't have glitter graphics it won't take 30 minutes to load. I am a fan of the simpler things in life. I think my love affair with twitter has a lot to do with the simplicity of it. Ok why am I at the library... BYE

The man list

Some chick on twitter thinks I'm gay LOL! I don't dive. Men who can get it.

1. The real Jay-z
2. Pierre Thomas
3. Reggie Bush (only if he's silent the entire time)
4. Michael Crabtree but maybe not
5. Common
6. Brad Pitt
7. George Clooney
8. Triple H (I have a serious wrestler fetish)
9. John Cena (I love him I watch his movies & he can't act for shit)
10. Kwok (I want an asian idk)
11. Paul Walker
12. Travis Barker
13. William Percy Harvin

I'm NEVER bored

The undresser said bored is code for I want some dude to come over and bone me... That's probably true. So I don't say I'm bored. I say I'm not interested in what I'm doing lol. In a brief survey of my friend girls I found the phrases women are most likely to use when they want it.

• What are you doing later?
• I have this *blank* and it's really heavy can you come move it please?
• I'm watching *his favorite show* you should come over.
• I haven't seen you in forever we should hang out
• I'm stressed I need some relief
• I don't have anything to do and all my friends ditched me (that happens to me alot)
• Come here
• What you eating tonight (courtesy of crazy ass Mya)

I'm not a fan of the eating... It's more a control thing than a turn on.

Research

Last weekend I interviewed 3 different men while drinking and it was awesome convo. Even though I wanted to kick them at sometimes I learned somethings I wouldn't normally pick up. I really want to do that again so if any guys wanna tell me stories about women I want to hear them. Kee I'm comin to your house :-)

The Tale of Hov

I met Hov in 2006. I was outside crying about b.b.u he always did something wrong. Then my mom pissed me off the same day. I was so angry. I'm venting to Antione (see when I talk about you I say your name ok boootch). He [hov] was with his friend. His friend is cute but he just didn't do it for me... but that tall dude with the Yankee hat on... he did it for me. He didn't run game on me he felt sorry for me because I was so upset... I felt wack. He told me he was gonna be my best friend... I thought not. My underwear got happy the first time he pronounced my name the right way. We have this rare thing... it's a crotch magnet... Everyone I know has told me they've met one person who they can't keep their hands off. For me that is Hov.
2 years ago we tried to watch football together I sat on the other side of the room and I left after 10 minutes I couldn't handle it.

Dear Hov,
You kinda own my vag.... :-(

Old Men

Any man who looks as old or older than my father is an old man. I hate old me who have braids and wear urban gear. Braids are just horrible. I hate men with hair. I get hit on by more old men(45 plus) than young men(21 plus). My male friends say I have "bitch swag" and young men really aren't attracted to all this mean-ness. The funny part is I'm really sweet ask Hov I was late for my first day at Victoria's Secret and a very important mid term because he wanted to do it for 2 minutes.... (You're getting your own post asap)
*pause* Why do men say crazy shit like I'm just gonna put the head in or we're just gonna do it for a little while...
Back on track Old men freak me out. I'm afraid of them they make me wanna throw up. The other day I'm going to get gas and this old man says how are you I say fine he says yeah you fine as fuck and stares at my breast for a whole 10 seconds. I felt nasty. Yesterday my 50 yr old uncle calls me lard ass and proceeds to slap it like 15 times. My ass is nice but really... my uncle. Old men are gross. I feel nasty writing this. Ron Isley makes me nauseous with that Mr.Big shit. Men who say cat AAAGGGHHHH my vagina is not an animal wtf? Ok I'm gonna stop now because I really want to throw up.

I'm kinda homo

These are my girl crushes in order:

1. Stacey Dash (duh)
2. Amber Rose (LOVE HER)
3. Lil Kim (like me only different)
4. Kim Kardashian (idk I like exotic hoes)
5. Angelina Jolie ( she looks rough)

I'd only go gay for Stacey and Amber LOL

I'm so annoyed

I can't comment on my blog why idk. I think it's internet explorer because when I use Safari everything is fine. Anyway

@ Mr. Undresser - you know my email [waiting on that blog link :-) ] I'm thinking of a creative way to only send u my left nipple and still get a full D pic LOL.
update: I HATE MYSPACE WITH A PASSION. I should just delete it. I delete all my myspace messages as soon as I get them. You could be my facebook friend and I follow you on twitter there!

Why am I so bad?

@ Mr. Quefromlsu- The yogurt wasn't as gross as u made it sound thanks

@ Antione...- you just I love you. And Tyler Perry is weird but grit ball is so real

One Dimension

I think I'm more complex than people realize yesterday my cousins pissed me off to the point of no return. I enjoy history, learning is my thing I could watch documentaries all day. Yesterday I'm at my grandfather's house watching this vh1 special on the Panthers. I love to hear Bobby Seale speak. These complacent a-holes asked what I was watching then they said why you care bout dat. BECAUSE IT'S HISTORY and not showcasing negative African American stereotypes. I said nothing to them and continued watching. With all my cursing and excessive angry I think people even inside my family forget that I'm not one dimensional.

These are some trev-facts:

1. I read for leisure
2. I love books about New Orleans they make my heart smile
3. I've only missed church twice this year
4. I hate it when people I care about get angry with me I apologize my ass off and cry the whole time.
5. I watch the Secret at least 5 times a week
6. I love art
7. I love going to the French Quarter during the day and seeing all the art and the people
8. I love Malcolm X
9. I love Martin too but it's not the same
10. I think Sam Cooke felt my pain
11. I have this strong thing for Prince it's sick
12. Ancient Egypt intrigues me and I watch every Pharaoh special I can find and still don't remember the names of the Pharaohs lol
13. I love Court tv Forensic Files and stuff excite me but it's always the same some man kills his wife and his mistress rats him out
14. Ever notice how those real life crime shows are always about white people but supposedly black people are the only ones murdering people
15. I agree with Bill Cosby and Michael Eric Dyson
16. One time I agreed with Al Sharpton about something I still feel weird about that

High School Sweetheart

This is why you shouldn't get married at 18... Sitting here listening to Green Eyes by E.Badu. Thinking about b.Tony. Before college I didn't really like black guys that much.. or at all. When in New Orleans me & black men don't click.
b.Tony was my first love my heart even, the reason I hate sleeping alone. We had everything in common and I talked to him every week in college even though we knew it would never be the same ( I love the black men). A few months ago he had a baby it made me sad at first then I realized we grew apart. He doesn't want what I want anymore. From the time I was 17 until sometime last year we clicked on everything... movies, sports, politics, religion, getting really drunk for no reason. You name it and we were on the same page. It hurts to lose a part of your life but that's what happens when you get older I guess.

Playlist

This is for sex with somebody who deserves more than one nut the playlist


• Red Light Special-TLC
• Invented Sex- Trey Songs
• Sweet Love- 112
• More- Silk
• Butt Naked- Adina Howard
• Would you mind -Janet Jackson
• Slowly- Tank
• Speechless- Beyonce
• Isley Brother - Between the Sheets
• D'Angelo- Untitled
• Maxwell- Til the cops come knocking
• Seems like you're ready - R.Kelly
• Anytime, Anyplace -Janet Jackson
• I wanna know - Joe
• Weekend Lover -Jamie Foxx
• Freak in me - Jamie Foxx
• Andre 3000 - Prototype (it's my hov song but he don't know that til...now)
• Janet Jackson - Moist
• Mirror- Ne-yo
• Tyrese- On top
• Butterflys- Alicia Keys
• Say Yes- Floetry
• Raheem Devaughn - Desire

Sexting

I can't lie well I can but I chose not to... I'm a fan of dick pix if you wanna send I wanna look but I might not return the favor.
I am the queen of copy and paste so this is a convo I just had with the homegirl [Mya]:

Mya: blog about this shit
me: tell me the story
Mya: ok its not a story really lmao
me: tell me now bioch
Mya: so i coined yesterday send a dick pic day... because w/in the span of 2 hrs i received a pic from 2 different guys lmao and i didnt ask for them!
Mya: my pt one of them was thick but it wasnt big- if yo shit not on... dont send it lmao
Mya: send a chick a dick pic hahahahhaha
me: LMAOI'm copy and pasting sorry i gotta
Mya: lmao ok

So fellas keep in mind we talk about the pix and if there pityful we show people but if they look real nice we keep that a secret.
*all names are always changed duh

Soft

I almost wanna cry right now. Like he's really upset with me not the curse out kind the bitch I'm dismissing you kind.
Dear Jake,
I'm sorry... I refuse to kiss it and make it better but you still have my Training Day dvd so we're even.
xoxo

Women on Top

This morning like every morning I listened to the Strawberry letter on Steve Harvey's morning show. I was pissed this girls 24 and her boyfriend keeps beating her and his triflin ass mom keeps telling the girl she shouldn't make him mad.
I've had this idea for a looooong time. I want all the women who read this blog to just think with me... if a man hits your sister/friend/cousin/associate wouldn't you wanna slap that punk bitch? I know I would. So I wanna form a club Women on Top we're gonna find bitch made men who hit women and beat them while video taping it... I want the ass whipping on you tube. Everybody is required to bring a weapon I'm getting cleats and a baseball bat. I've been taking kick boxing and I'm dying to kick somebody in the face. I think domestic violence is horrible so the only way to end it is if women start whippin some ass cause I know I wouldn't hit my boo if I saw her on you tube kicking some dude in the face and beating his balls with a baseball bat. [I'm violent]
And my mama said the only way to get through to an ignant mf'r is to whip dat ass!

Dream Wedding

Erykah Badu & Ziggy Marley -In love with you is my wedding song
I wanna be barefoot when I get married
I'm getting married on a beach
My toes are the bomb diggity
I want good cake CHOCOLATE
Fuck all that vanilla mess
I don't care what my bridesmaids do
I don't care who shows up.
I just want the groom to be like she so gorgeous and adorable and I effn love this lil crazy bitch!

The woman has a mustache

1. This woman has a full stache
2. I decided to be a twit-slut
3. I'm gonna twitter fine men only [and friend boys] LOL
4. I'm dying to say "touch my body", "biooootch", and "I'm tryna get outta dis box"
5. Don't be texting me stuff about stuff that ain't important or funny
6. I'm gonna go crazy before tomorrow
7. I like arguing it's cute
8. Somebody text me and I'm all warm and fuzzy... LMAO
9. I'm wack as hell
10. If one more person tells me about myself I'mma fight em
11. I already said dat whatever u think is witty and original u ain't make that shit up... I said it about me a long time ago jackass
12. Me and Barkley are having a baby b.c I refuse to strap up
13. Barkey is the batteries... either u get it or you don't
14. I didn't even eat my yogurt :-(
15. It's raining. I wanna make out
16. I like yogurt
17. I just opened the yogurt and it squirted on my neck
18. GROSS

The adventures of S-curl, Ponytail and Mohawk

While these are all hairstyles I deem gay they are also people.

I don't fuck short men... it's not my thing. I demand respect from them bitchs though.

Anyway... we met last year I ain't care to meet that bitch..

Light brights bother me too looking all pale and bitch made

So we're at the apartment and this nigga walks in and introduces himself to everyone except the girls, granted if I wasn't 504 and I met 2 504 ass girls I would be a little afraid but this punk had no manners or he was straight fag... so when I tell you I don't know dat bitch and I don't care... I mean he gets pumped in the butt and that's gay.

Thank you biootch

Dear girl who stole my freshmen year boo or whatever that boy was, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. He's fat he's ugly and he's broke. I think you're beautiful by the way so the eff are you still with him.

Dear girl who stole my crush in 07, He so lame. I know you know that now and you probably wouldn' tell anyone ya'll "messed", I think you're an awesome person and I wish you uber success but at the time I was JEALOUS. P.S. I know you didn't know I liked him thats the point

Dear girl who stole my crush in 08, You are fine like a beast and I don't know u that well but I know I'm not fine enough to get with nobody who got with you. I'm jealous of you. Anyway he's an asshole. I consider him a good associate now and he's EVIL. I'd hate to be the bitch that says better you than me but you fine you gone bounce back.



I'm really not a hater I just know my place and I don't continue crushing on people who talk to my friends friends friend... it's kinda nasty

You me and Hov (possibly Jake)

I have this calculation that holds true for 95% of women and ME. In college there's 50 guys you give your number to half get past one conversation. 10 get past 2 weeks. And 3 occupy at least a year... My 3 won't go away. I don't run from them but when I'm really really NOT dating anyone they appear... now Hov & b.b.u are definitely my pretend boyfriends. I LOVE THEM. I often question if it's possible to love 2 guys but hell yeah it is. You may be wondering how the boyfriends are pretend... they don't I "go with them". None of us live in the same state anymore so I pretend. Hov is perfect it makes me wanna barf but if he doesn't text me every morning I get sad... I'm soft and I'm dealing with it. B.B.U on the other hand ugh... if he doesn't text me once a month I get sad... he's awful at communication. And Jake... well... umm... It's like getting really really drunk... I know better. I just enjoy hood rat activity. I avoid Jake like the plaque (in person) but I love the conversation it's always crazy.
This is the question I always ponder... is it possible to be 100% single? Because we always have a crush in mind...

Trailer Trash

The people I work with are trash for the most part. They ain't never had shit, never wanted shit and never been worth shit. Low expectation hoes kill me. I know that not everyone wants the same thing in life but a camo wedding. And aspiring to have a good 2 bedroom house. I could never aim low. I HATE THESE HOES

I'm always pissing somebody off

• I laugh at everything
• But this is not a joke
• When women get mad they wanna tell you all the reasons
• When men get mad they ignore the fuck outta you
• I can't handle being ignored
• I don't know a person alive who can
• No matter how bold
• How come sandwich meat is round but sandwich bread is square...
• How long has high frutose corn syrup existed?
• We had a Toya impersonation party and the winning sentence was "I'm trying to get outta this box"
• She's a really pretty girl... I'm not hating on her but the rest of the world is
• Why can't women just be happy for one another?
• Essence did a whole issue on the mean-ness among women.
• If I'm jealous of you I'll tell you.

Crazy mad stupit

1. Men with sense don't really amuse me
2. Make believe is not half as hilarious as real life
3. There are so many other things I wanna blog but...
4. Why does one person always love the other person more?
5. No matter how equal we get love can never be 50/50
6. I have a potty mouth
7. Some dude from England found me on twitter... he likes the blog...stalker-ish but flattering because he's not ugly
8. I think if your attractive your a fan but if your UGLY then you're a stalker
9. I'm not a Ludacris fan...
10. I don't like twitter I just use it to plug the blog
11. Maybe just maybe if you really love the blog you should tell people about it
12. I'm waiting to hear Nene Leakes on the radio.
13. I'm going to blog anything funny about it
14. Her book came out today I'm not buying that shit
15. Some gossip site is gonna spill everything worth knowing

... ummm (don't judge me it's research)

I'm debating wheter or not to copy and paste the conversation I'm having right now...
I been sitting here for like 15 minutes... he gon probably hate me but it's too funny. This dude has issues but I enjoy it... I apologize in advance for my honesty the (...) are y thoughts this whole time

• Jake Steed -whoa (he wants me)
• Me- whats good wit ya
• Jake Steed- nuttin horny (I knew that)
• Me -u borin and u always horny
• Jake Steed-u like (wtf kinda question is that)
• Me-I think u crazy and I enjoy that for some strange reason
• Jake Steed-u horny (as if)
• Me-no
• Jake Steed- mayne wut (country ass)
• Me-I aint there anyway so if I was I wouldnt see u
• Jake Steed-u could have phone sex (really? you can't make sentences that good)
• Me- u can get the pussy from anybody why is u actin crazy
• Jake- I could I want urs (...all his other hos figured out he crazy)
• Me-we aint fuck in like 2 years how u even remember
• Jake-yea I remember bae (we only did at my house so I know u ain't got me on tape)
• Me-man u crazy but i like it
• Jake-yu want phone sex (phone sex? we live an hour away)
• Me-NO
• Jake-y (maybe I should have said that and not thought it)
• Me-cause
• Jake-let's do this 1 now (he's wildin)
• Me-I'm at work
• Jake-Tex it (sexting at work... he's taking it too far)
• Me-for true?
• Jake-yea
• Me-like real talk I don't like phone sex
• Jake-tex me (what are u gonna get from this?)
• Me-I just rather fuck
• Jake-we can do both (he ain't got laid in like 2 days he losing his mind)
• Me-u told me to kick rocks the last time I saw u now u want me?
• Jake-yea (and I'm supposed to jump for joy?)

This shit was hilarious... and well... yeah Jake...

Ran-dumb's

1. Why is the meat at Wendy's a square?
2. What is Angus beef?
3. I could devote this blog to food with the same if not more enegry.
4. Jodeci should get a reality show
5. I don't like that new Whitney Houston song
6. I don't drink beer but I fucks with Corona and Bud Light with Lime
7. If I had balls I'd get hair like Amber Rose
8. Amber Rose is fine I judge women and she is a beast
9. I'm afraid of tomatoes
10. I had a dream I ate pudding I HATE PUDDING
11. I think one of my homegirls is a complete jackass sometimes and she might be retarded but I LOVE HER.
12. And if you ever talk about her I'll curse you out and kick you in the ankle.
13. I'm so happy destroyed denim is fashionable again.
14. I really want Chinese food like everyday
15. My mission is 6 pack by Halloween
16. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week... yeah I'm that focused
17. God loves me so I kinda don't care what you think
18. Apples are really good.
19. I heart Miley Cyrus... she can't sing but I love her music
20. I'm so cheap this website was the first thing I bouht full price (besides food) all year.

2 cents

So yesterday I was kinda sad and prayed about whether or not I should keep doing this and this morning after the 2nd blog I looked at how much money I made and it was 2 cents.. so I decided to keep blogging because God put his 2 cents in LOL. I haven't made money in like 6 days... BAD FANS.

Want vs Need

People never want what they need. 8 glasses of water a day? Fruits and veggies? Someone who reciprocates your emotion. Why is it that people always complain about being treated like shit but as soon as someone treats them good... they don't like it. Granted if he's telling you he loves you after 3 days it's game and he's trying to get the panties asap. But if its been a while (whatever a while is to you) and dude is consistent (because most mean aren't) HE CARES. So what do people really want? We all say we want someone who loves us and treats right but when we find ti we dog it..

Carrie Bradshaw vs. Candace Bushnell

Candace Bushnell is Carrie Bradshaw... I'm sure she stopped relating experiences to herself because of the backlash... I started this to be honest... And I am. Yet people still feel the need to start rumors about me. If you wanna know something ask me. I'll tell you if when and how.. I DON'T FRONT. I didn't feel like writing a blog to defend myself because people always believe what they wanna believe. Oh well... I probably offended some dude on "DL".

Last night I went back and forth with myself... to blog or not to blog? I prayed on it.. and God said nothing LOL... then this morning it was clear... they hated on Jesus he told the truth.

Carrie Bradshaw is one of the most iconic figures on television and she wasn't bullshitting either. Marilyn Monroe is an icon... nobody buys painting of Jackie Kennedy. Furthermore Lil Kim is everywhere and nobody outside the hip hop world knows who Faith is...

So I will continue in the tradition of the greatest people ever and say what I want when I want and how I want... besides you only read what you wanna believe.

Trev-intion's

• Low expectation hoe- A bitch who give the puss to a guy who works for less than minium wage
• Sorry dick- It's not small but seriously if you say ride that big dick one more time I'm gonna laugh
• Desperate fuck- when you pretend sex is good because some is better than none
• Hoe- women who act a ass (flirts too much, skirts too short, always in heels, looks like a freak but you have no proof)... whether or not they have sex nobody knows but by all outward indicators they fucking all the time (most times women judge them and are shatter to find out they get little to no dick) LOL I've been wrong about some many girls then I realized I'm hoe-ish I never wear pants I flirt all the time and my mouth is filthy... LOL oh well... if you can't take it you shouldn't dish it.
• Sluts- they bout that action. They don't have to dress like it or talk like it or talk about it. They look normal par example she probably fuckin but just one guy. (I was dead wrong, male best friend told me this girl was a slut and I almost cried she looks so nice and innocent...)
• Slut buckets- The wide opens as in anybody can spit in it... like that hoe that looks like a horse. I don't know her but I swear she has aids ha ha
• Fuck boy- A man who might as well have a period... the mood swings are thick he does things that be reserved to women (gossiping, lying about your boo)

That's all for now bioootch

He got a big EGO

Too bad nothing else is big... Sometimes you can just tell. He walks to freely like nothings dragging him down. He wear those shorts with the lil holes in them (the gym kind or whatever) and there's no outline. Speaking of no outline funniest small dick story I own dudes getting naked in front of me and my friends... and he's in wife beater with no pants or boxers on... NO HANG TIME. To make matters worse my bff who met him on a separate occasion says you know *-!*-*-#-* I say yeah she says "He walk like his dick small"
Men who talk up their sex game always disappoint it's a golden rule... "girl you not ready for this..." NO I'm not I'm ready for you to get the fuck... my fingers bigger than that...

Stupit Fruity Swag? But he straight?

• I have a crush on a man with small hands... setting myself up for failure
• Pre-season football is wack
• Music these days sucks hard
• Why do women have to be bow legged?? I don't understand
• I don't like girls who wear all that colorful shit lookin like a cheap ass bag of skittles.
• If you fk men who wear graphic tees (over 21) you deserve to get fucked over
• Why did he think that graphic tee was on point?
• Men who shop at aeropostale have no self respect
• In college girls used to think this dude was so hot because he wore American Eagle... if thats swag I'm gonna dress up my dog and see how many hoes he can pull
• I miss Kat Williams
• What happened to good comedy?
• They all lost their mind
• Truth be told... I'm probably gonna lose my mind next week

True story

The worst memory I have of sex is Valentine's day 2006... We watched cartoons all day it was pretty chill. (I don't ask for much I'm simple) Then one thing lead to another and.... duh. Well Keyshia Cole- Love came on and before the chorus started it was over. I got up and got dressed and left. I was pissed. I didn't wanna try again. I didn't want a do-over. I was MAD. I'm made thinking about it anyway.. that was short.

It's open

I created a second profile so others could post their stories cause I'm tired of talking in first person when it's really someone elses shit LOL!

Can I take it back

I'll call her Carly only because I don't know a Carly. She met this guy and everything about him was perfect. Until she got him naked... womp womp waamm. She said it was the smallest she'd ever seen.. and "He tried to hit it from the back like that would make it better." It gets worse... I've heard this same story concerning different men at least 10 times...
ooops

Yo masta be treatin u nice

Disclaimer: I'm right on this one so please save your small minded narrow ass opinions for someone who cares cause I DO NOT.

This weekend we hung out with some guys who went to HBCU's and I find it disgusting that they ask if the white people treat us nice. HUH? I grew up around white people, Spanish people and a few Native Americans. Race is only an issue when you're ignorant about it. Most people honestly don't know or try to know people of other races and there's the issue.

What makes you cry

Last night I found a picture of me and my dad. I wanted to cry. I know in the that picture we were the most important people in each others lives. Those moments have since faded. Growing up sucks because for years you lose sight of what's important then you reach a point where you realize you fucked up and you try your hardest to get that thing back. It's like smoking weed nothing compares to the first high. I miss my daddy being the center of my universe...

He has small feet

While feet aren't an indicator of much except for how much they pay for shoes. But his are unusually small. We've had the same conversation with different people a few times.
What flaw disgust women the most? What flaw disgust men the most?
I can't stand guys who try to make themselves seem smarter than they really are. I hate guys who get all in my personal space while smelling like ass. I hate women who talk to fuckin much. I talk too damn much. I'm blogging what their talking about and they keep talking. My head hurts. I hate it when everyone else is drunk and I'm not.
What's your deal breaker? Mine is kids. I'm selfish and greedy. I have to be #1 and I know kids would come before me and if they didn't he wouldn't be a man. I have a crush on a guy but I'll never pursue because he has kids.
I wish smart men were attracted to me. I mean the ones that don't seem gay or extremely flawed lol. Dumb men turn me on a lil bit... that makes no sense. I make no sense I'm tired as hell but I'm blogging.

I'd kill you for pizza

1. All of a sudden I'm starving
2. This is the first time I've blogged this late
3. Why do women think that having sex with someone who hurt them is revenge or showing him what he's been missing? (news flash he doesn't miss it he just got it)
4. Watching STC is gives me way more thoughts to ponder
5. People worry about the wrong shit
6. Chinese food
7. Headache shit sucks
8. In the 1st season of STC Carrie let a guy eat it then left. It was the greatest thing ever.
9. In real life Samantha Jones gets married and Carrie's still single.
10. Hoe's without kids always get married
11. Pregnant women look nasty they're faces get wide and bloated and stuff
12. She stole from his house

Nobody want that shit

I don't need to use discretion on this one.
I finally know the story of the girl who lied on her clit LOL! She's 18 I feel like that means she's fucked up in and of itself. Anyhow she went to dudes house memorized his room & stole some shit. I think maybe she lied because she thought it was gonna give her street cred or somthing.
There's this guy and idk his name but I've met him a few times anyway he lies on his dick beyond often funny thing is he's the wackest dude in the history of the world so no one believes him. I wonder if people who lie on their shit realize we know they lie.