But this is normal...

The other night I had a conversation with one of my favorite re-runs. In this conversation, he's reassuming me that he's not a club rat anymore. How many times have I heard that!!! But the conversation made me think... Not about what he said but about what I said.

Re-run (trev-inition)- a show you've seen before, in most cases a ex; can also refer to a situation in life that feels too familiar.

Conversation goes as follows... (edited of course to conceal identities)


Me: Oh lawd. So the hot boy not in the club!!!
Him: Lol I b out like that
Me: You been saying that since I fell for u! That's how u got me lol
Him: Real talk and u never fell for me
Me: How u gon tell me how I feel? U left me or did u forget?
Him: Because that's not u and I kno
Me: What's not me?
Him: Falling for someone
Me: Lol!!! So I'm heartless?
Him: I guess lol
Me: Ouch! I don't sell myself dreams. I take everything for what it is. But that doesn't mean I don't care.
Him: I feel that
Me: But real talk u think I sweat u cause I don't care?
Him: No not at all and I don't feel like u sweat me anyway
Me: I text u and u don't reply that to me is sweating somebody
Him: I guess
 
And what did I learn from this conversation you ask...
 
Alright, here goes... One, I like most women dominate conversation... I know a lot about him. He talks in person but via text he's short with words. Granted this is my last "epic" relationship... I should probably explain that more but I'll blog it later.
 
Two... As with most text conversations I'm having 5 other convos while this is going on... and 3 of the other 4 conversations are about failing relationships. And my thought is "Why is it ok for you to sell yourself a dream??" These men are hoes. You know this. Yet you decided to play in a bag of glitter... and well there is no gold in glitter...
Then she says "But I told him not to lie to me about anything ever"... & I laughed.. "BITCH you thought that meant something??? You think asking for the truth gets the truth???" If she is that naive I need not speak with her anymore. Back on subject what's separating me from the masses? Why am I heartless???
"I don't sell myself dreams. I take everything for what it is. But that doesn't mean I don't care." So that's it... Sometimes I wander off into fantasy shallow meaningless fantasy. I don't however dream that some man saves me.

Let's be real divorce is almost as common as marriage and while being optimistic is great and all I know that sometimes no matter how hard you try shit just might not work. He wasn't calling me heartless he was calling me the anti-dumb bitch or that's how I take it LOL!! So the only dreams I'm comfortable selling myself are about personal success. I know at the end of the day I will be the only person that I can depend on... But they don't say it that way... So I'm heartless because I refuse to be up some mans ass while he builds his empire...

Yeah, I'm good!!!