Truly kind gesture

Yesterday I went to eat alone in B.R while I was there I saw this woman. I'm sure all my LSU readers have encountered her she's bald and has some disablitiy or mental illness. She's never asked me for money, I've never even seen her begging but she's always around and in some trance like stage. Yesterday, she was having lunch with this middle aged well-dressed white woman. The woman [white lady] didn't seem to want attention, there was no camera crew, she was just doing something kind. I was touched. It's so rare to see a truly kind gesture from someones heart. This woman didn't seem to gain anything from buying this other lady lunch she just did. It makes me wanna do something... asap

Flash by...

I feel as though I'm watching my life flash by me. I don't consider what I've been doing living. Everyday is a replay of the day before. Last Sunday at church I felt like I had a breakthrough about what I wanted and who I should be, yet on Monday nothing changed. By Saturday, I reached a conclusion. I hate being in New Orleans. I love it when I'm not here but I hate it when I am. I am in love with Baton Rouge; the people, the places, the tailgate [lol]. A part of me feels that maybe it's because I'm not ready to grow all the way up & know what? I'm fine with that. I'd rather be happy & childish than coast by exisiting. I want to travel and go on crazy adventures I've never been on and New Orleans feels like a box keeping me from my dreams...

When I moved back home I had a solid list of goals none of which I've completed. I'm angry and disappointed in myself. From this day forward I will live life to my full potential daily. My thoughts, my words & mostly my actions will reflect the person that I truly am. I try my best not to judge but when I am judgemental it's my own disappointment reflected outward...

Yes it is a tragedy that some women have 6 kids by different men but hey I ain't gotta raise so why waste energy talking about her... That's the motto from here on out, if it's not about me or benefiting me it shouldn't be addressed... of course the social issues that affect the world are important but I mean general random gossip-y shit... not happening no more... the end

The next generation

One day we'll look back and wonder what we did all this for...
There's this part of me that wonders if this election meant anything. I haven't volunteered more, I haven't been kinder. I honestly don't know anyone who has changed since the election. I'm tired of living for me. I've been so selfish and greedy and for all the wrong things and reasons. My apathy bothers me, so much so that I want a new job. I want to help people, I love helping people it fulfills me. I can't live being someone who just makes money it doesn't make me happy.

Complex

"If this were a canvas my emotion would bleed onto it in shades of red that got deeper until they became purple & then fade to black." -me just now

On Wednesday I was sick. I didn't have time to daydream or criticize the world, I was only allowed to live in reality it was different. Thursday was a complete blur & Friday I slept as much as I could. Today I did so much I didn't have time to think but when I had one moment to think... Luther Vandross - If only for one night. I thought about him, it hurt. I, me, myself opened the wound, as the blood began to flow no tears came. I didn't feel those emotions I thought I would. *They said his name on espn* I tried not to think of his name.... damn. I'm begging myself not to cry. I've forced myself to answer the one question I wouldn't ask myself... Who are trying to prove your point to?
I'm not ready. I'm not ready to grow up or to make adult decisions or to be something to someone that I can't even be to myself. I'm not strong. I cry too much. I love someone who loves his career more than he could ever love a person. If I had a pen and paper I so wouldn't blog this....