All too often Men hide behind Stupidity as the reason we are hurting people in our lives that care about us. More than often its an excuse. I dont think i have ever really been ignorant or stupid, i just have played that way so i didnt have to take accountability for my actions. Other times ive straight up said that Im selfish and leave it up to people to still deal with me. I admit I do dumbshit not caring but its because I choose to be that way, not because I have to.
Hiding behind the fact that Im not completely ready to let go of selfish ways. Am I ready to be everything that any 1 woman needs me to be. Everything Ive been through wether my fault or that of one of these blog vixens make me a lil hesitant. I have hardly ever been one to place blame on others for my actions. Attention too little and you feel neglected, too much drives us mad...And at some point I unknowingly became an attention whore. Im just learning that at somepoint you have to be able to pass on the attention someone else is giving you. Ill never be settled or have someone put their complete faith in me if i keep being a puppy to whoever's hand is in front of me.
I tell the women i deal with in advance how I am, but it doenst make shit any better. Women rarely deal with niggaz that they dont see a challenge in. No woman wants a nigga that she can completely run over unless its one she's running over while digging deep in his deep ass bank account. Some see niggaz that say they aren't ready as a challenge. They often think they will be the ones that make that nigga ready. Honesty ahead of time is coo, and I feel like at least i let you know what you were getting into, but in the back of my head i Know that women have some reasonable expectations that they can often change a mans mind from his original agenda.
Fact is if you deal with someone long enough regardless of how you started, then eventually feelings will get involved. Who experiences them first is up in the air, but once it happens you have a responsibility to either let go, or reevaluate what yall mean to one another or reemphasize that you dont want to go anywhere with it.
So No nigga is completely ignorant of the dumb shit we do. Some just choose to play Dodgeball with this thing called love. Some just avoid getting hit with your heart longer than others. Some will Chunk the Deuce as soon as they see you aiming your heart their way. I vow to not be so stupid with the way I handle peoples feelings and will always at least be honest.
The Answer is Im not Stupid, I just need to work on my Selfishness!
*salute*
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