Everyone has a gauge, a measurement of how they judge people. Some people gauge based on past experiences. Most people gauge based on who they are and their ideas, knowledge, and intention. For example, if you go to the doctor you assume that the doctor knows what's wrong with you and can give you medicine or recommendations about how to get well. No one expects to go to the doctor and leave without knowing something about their condition. In the same way that we have expectations for people in professions we have expectations for people in our social/personal lives.
My personal gauge for example thinks everyone has pretty good intentions until they say something fucked up. We all think that people are somewhat like us. The reason most people get fucked in life is because they assume people are like them. They gauge with the idea that people have good intentions because they have good intentions. They think that because they like you, you like them. You're parents may have raised you to do things a certain way. & you think everyone else is that way BUT they're NOT! I'm early for everything, my parents are early people, not everyone else is early. Most people have no sense of promptness at ALL. It used to bother me SO much, now I realize that's just them. Now let's go a step farther and apply this to romantic relationships.
Most times when someone says "I can't believe you'd do that", it's because they wouldn't do said action (or admit to it publicly). Relationships have become so superficial. "We like the same music and he likes adidas, you know most dudes don't like them" << And that's all it takes for you to tell someone you're life story... That is flawed logic. BUT it occurs quite often. I'd venture to say most people who grew up in the same area,in the same age group, of the same race and/or socio economic status have 10,000 things in common. Almost all of these things will be superficial.
How often do you ask someone how they feel about God? Spirituality versus religion? Friendship (do they value it or not need it)? Growing apart from people? Betrayal? Family (I don't just mean the past I mean the family they aspire to have)? It's rare that people truly examine the way others feel and think. By ignoring others thoughts and feelings, they then gauge them based on common interest rather than the complex dimensions of their personality. Recently my followers on twitter have been saying they thought they liked someone until they followed them on twitter. While twitter isn't an accurate reflection of a total person it is a good indicator of what people let bother them, what people are interested in and how they feel about certain things.
Infatuation makes us ask the questions we want the answers to. In the begining everyone wants to present themselves in the way they'd like to be seen. Eventually people get comfortable and no longer feel the need to impress you. SO in the beginning you should establish flaw knowledge. It's the only way to be successful in relationships. I hate when people say "It was all good in the beginning idk what happened" UH DUH!! In the beginning you probably didn't burp in front of them either!! In short don't assume that people are like you, they may like the same songs BUT that means NOTHING! Don't gauge someone as just like you without knowing them.. it has and will continue to fuck you!
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