Love is like...

I'm starting to think I've never been in "real" love. There was this trending topic about being strung & from everything I've read I've never even been sprung. I don't give money, I don't co habitate, I cheat often. Kari Ann said marriage isn't a logical option because the emotion it takes to give your all to someone isn't something we possess. BUT Kari Ann is worse than me, she had a kid. I couldn't have a kid. I wouldn't even get pregnant. I'm selfish too selfish. That's why I don't need monogamy or kids. My life revolves around me & my wants and needs.

I've never been truly heart broken because I've never given my all to anything. I'm not a fan of anything, I don't like anything alot besides food.

Big is #1, he will always be more important than other guys BUT.. I don't wanna be known as his wife/girl/ol lady. I crave my own title. Eva Longoria isn't Tony Parker's wife she's Eva. So many women are proud of being associated with what they put in them when dudes cheating on her... so everybody in your neighborhood is fucking him but you have the "title" so you're special?? I laugh at chicks most men in their 20s are more concerned with establishing their personal title than marrying your stupid ass so keep chasing husbands at 30 you'll still be making 15,000 a year.
My title is short,loud, asshole, goofy, Blogger, DaUglyTruth.. not who I'm fucking.
I explained to Big that I wanna be on his level & have my own title, he respects it. That's way more awesome than a title.. respect :-)

The Greatest Sex (Female Prospective)

This is graphic, you've been warned.

The greatest sex isn't planned. You don't know when it's going to happen, it hasn't been discussed, it simply occurs.
Great sex involves tension, a strong desire for one another before any physical contact.
The greatest sex happens when both parties are clear on the others likes and dislikes.Women love a man who takes control. Take the pussy, most of us are very dominate in life but extremely submissive in sex. Great sex involves no fear.
It starts with harmless flirting, leads to touching, kissing, eventually there's the foreplay & for me that doesn't involve oral. I'll give but I'm really not into recieving (See how nice I am). The pre sex orgasm is preferred (hand work).
The foreplay eventually leads to pentration (the best part). Great sex is passionate and violent. Most of the women I know like to be fucked (self included). Hard, deep strokes that force both people to grasp for air. Talking shit makes sex great.(DO NOT ask us to call you daddy, you will ruin the moment. I'll say anything but you are NOT my father.)
I'm competitive and silence gets you NO WHERE. Doggy style is essential, a must. Followed by some reverse cowgirl action.

Great sex also involves different locations the bed is fine to start with but you have to use the wall, the floor, the counters in the bathroom. Choking is for people you love but the more violent the better. If the sex is over and her vagina isn't swollen, you sir can't fuck. Bruises are welcomed. Biting, grabbing, even licking at times are all essential to great sex.

Certified Committable

So after the big blow up and mms message of the Rear tellin Me to Kiss her ass goodbye, the muhfukka starts up again! So Im currently in the process of a restraining order and makin sure that EBR Sheriffs Office and BRPD, document all this bullshit incase a nigga have to smack a bitch in self defense or worse! So she stalks on and on!





She wants me to say I forgive her to lift some type of burden or bad feeling supposedly. Sad thing is I know its not right to not let people know that they are forgiven. I dont hold grudges, but she's gonna have to continue to live without an answer. I know that if I play into answering her or saying I forgive her that her sad ass will see it as having a foot back in the door for more Crazy shit. If you flipped out this hard over me not letting you in as a friend who knows what the fuck will happen. I refuse to be a lifetime movie. niggaz laughin but takin the right steps away and documenting shit with the police and courts may save that ass! Serve her ass them papers EBR

Is it possible?

"I'm a hoe & I'm going to accept that" - B.B.U

It seems crazy to me but I'm living it so I know it's true. Everyday I grow. I say some off the wall stuff, we all know that. Behind the scenes I'm over analyzing everything. On this mission to accomplish personal happiness, I've had to let things go & embrace new things. I've changed my ideas on things I thought I made my mind up about...
For example, Mr. B he's broken my heart, but he's the only man who knows everything... & when I say everything, I mean the secrets I can't tell myself. I've started to realize that anyone whose dealt with me consistently for the last 5 years deserves a place in my life. I've been drunk, high, retarded, suicidal, judgmental, superfical & just plain evil at times, he's still here (no pussy is that good it's gott be love). I realize that I'm a handful and frankly I wouldn't have dealt with the old me. I'm not trying to wife him.. I want someone better than him BUT his friendship is greatly appreciated & lets not front I might bounce on it from time to time. I don't leave to be chased, I leave to formulate conclusions without outside influence.
In the process of over analyzing myself I've realized that I crave monogamy most when I feel that nothing in my life is going right. That's really dumb and since everything in my life is going right, I'm thinking clearly. When I'm sad I let people get away with shit. I'm toooo happy. Also the longer I go without sex the easier it is for me to realize I don't care about too much too often. Big is a hoe and he admits his flaws. That's all good for me.
Here's the point: I wonder how I grow so much. Everyday I come to a new realization about who I am, who I want to be, & what I want. I'm consistently honest & hilarious but my views on things change. I don't wanna be someone's girl. I want my own identity. I don't want to depend on my parents anymore, I'm too old for that. I want a flat stomach & huge boobs (somethings never change). I love learning, growing and changing. I don't want pride. I'm happy to admit when I'm wrong it helps me grow. I'm not taking shit anymore, if I don't like it I don't need it. I LOVE my friends I don't need anyone else. I know who I want to be & nobody has to agree with that. I'm comfortable in my skin.. I don't even want dick & conversation... (if it's not from Big)