Love, A Dying Emotion?

When is the last time you really stopped to love someone?
When did you give someone the Opportunity to love You?
Or are you like me, So petrified of all things you see going wrong in love that you are afraid to give someone the power to hurt you?

If you fall in love of course there's always the chance that, damn i may get hurt. But the truth is, I know if i keep being a heartless Machine that doesnt give a damn then i will continue to hurt those around me that want to care for me. If i realize this then everyone around should to. Theres a distinct difference from not being ready for love, and running for dear life. They type of running I do will never give love a chance to be ready for me.

This bitch called FEAR runs too many of our lives, and too many activities in our lives. I dont think My being a heaux in the past came out of wanting to hurt everyone around me. There was the lil part of me that thought it was cool to have my name bouncing around, and even accepting of the Juvenile cheers from my boys that were like yeah. Shagari got them Heauxs" In my heart i Know my addiction for women came from my fear to fall in love.

I cant blame Fear on all of the people ive been with cause ive done some selfish shit just because i thought the person i was with was hot. Overall I dont think im ready for love, I dont think im deserving of having someone give me there all. Everyone that has tried to love me has ended up hurt, and maybe im wrong for keep using the people i Couldnt love as a Crutch.

I see people fuck over people they love daily. My earlier post SMH just backs my fear. The word Love is thrown around like Salt on McDonalds Fries...Any Fool can say it. I think we let our own fucked up actions kill our belief and hope that we can one day find love. Then people often get too caught up on what the media says is love. Everyone is not going to have that Jay-Z, Beyonce Billionaire love affair. Perfect love doesnt Exist in someone elses relationship. Perfect love is what you build in yourself. Its What makes you happy, Its what thing the other person does that completes you.

Stop trying to build love off of everyone else plans and make your own blue prints and adhere to them strictly. I dont know if it exists for me or if ill ever find it. I fucked up so much in the past that i started feeling like i was a nigga put here to give pain, so people will truly know how to appreciate love when they have it. The truth is i dont believe that now. We all Fuck up we all make mistakes. We all lost that person we wish we could get back. Consider them stepping stones to learn. Some of u just learn faster than others.

There's nothing wrong with not being able to love someone as soon as they want to be loved. You cant rush love, you cant force it. Even though being Honest doesnt completely make up for not being able to love someone, its real. I will never say I love someone knowing that i dont. I will never take these words for granted. They have the power to heal, they have to power to bring warmth and Joy. But I also know more importantly saying these words in false heart has the power to destroy hearts, hurt someone mind, body and soul, and in certain cases has the power to Kill.

Be Honest with your intentions whatever they may be. Dont make bad of a word that is supposed to inspire greatness. I Know now that all this nuclear shit, all these bullets, explosives, and chemical shit, dont stand up to the kind of Weapon love is. Weapons can bring security in those who respect them and know the power of what they grasp. They also can destroy the world if placed with idiots who dont give a damn. Choose wisely, peoples hearts depend upon it. Our hearts are the strongest yet most fragile thing that we possess.