Dizzy.

Last night was the inevitable. I'm glad he didn't lie but part of me wished he did. He just wants to "due him" I didn't spell it wrong that's a direct quote. I'm mature enough to realize that the first year of freedom is just that. Freedom. I respect it. Does that make it easier? Nope. Do I wish he would have said I wanna be with you and just cheated on me? Kinda. In the grand scheme of things I don't wanna love nobody else but I wanna fuck other people all the time. Ok not all the time but sometimes I see a dude and think he could get it... and there is a guy I wanna hook up with before I get married. I'm just curious as hell. I don't wanna be emotionally attached to anyone ever just him. But I'm growing and figuring out what's best for me an so is he. I'm just a little dizzy.

*Sometimes I rhyme but not on purpose